two mormons walk into a bar....

I wanted to applaud my friend Shae for a fine performance last Saturday night at the Looney Bin. Shae completely held her own wedged between the funny, yet geriatric host and the ever so eloquent headliner, Bill Tucker.

The crowd may have been sparse, but they were quite the handful. I guess 10 o'clock shows in Summerlin bring out the meager drunks. From the old cackling New Yorker, who I swore could have been my boyfriend's mom, to the young African American guy convinced he was a victim of racial profiling, the night was anything but dull.

The hecklers seemed to give Shae a break during her set (Thank God!) Though it would have been fun to see Shae give it back to them.

All in all even without my whiskey sour with a beer chaser the night would have been a success. Each comedian had some great material and a positive presence. Shae was hip, witty, and funny. What more could you ask for?

.....and one asks the bartender, "Where's my wife?" And the bartender says, "Which one?"

Quote of the Day: Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

disappointment reigns at the p.o.

It is my firm belief that the Post Office is where the dregs of society gather to discuss their plan to annoy the world....and all while talking on their bluetooth headsets.

I had to make a trip to the Post Office the other day to pick up the new mailbox keys and I remembered why I do all I can to avoid the place entirely. And it's not because of the people that work at the Post Office, though I've heard those horror stories, it's the people that I am fortunate enough to wait in line with while there:

The chatty housewife - who has to tell me and everyone else everything that is going on with their five children (who happen to be running around the place causing mayhem), their best friend's cheating husband, and their mother who is recuperating from a broken hip. And no, she's not talking directly to me or anyone in the room; she's talking to whoever on her bluetooth headset, looking like an absolute lunatic, because she's just sooo busy that this conversation couldn't wait the five minutes she has to stand in line. Oh, and did I mention, that she couldn't possibly stop her conversation even while the mail clerk was helping her mail a letter. Is it me, or is there nothing more rude than talking to someone on the cell phone and ignoring the person right in front of you, there to do a service for you? Are people that inconsiderate and self-absorbed that they can't stop for two minutes and give ONE person their undivided attention?

The go go go business man - who grumbles and sighs over every person that takes more than ten seconds to be helped or asks a question of the mail clerk, pushing his wait time out a whole extra five seconds. Oh and he's on his bluetooth, too, yelling expletives to the other person on the line, who hasn't sold his stock in time, or isn't giving him the price he wants on one-of-a-kind glass blown figurine. He's mega important and he wants everyone else to know.

The elderly woman - who complains about the price of a stamp, or a mailing box, telling everyone how much it was when she was our age and how the quality of services and items has diminished to a mere nothing. She usually takes about a half an hour to get a letter to her grandson mailed, while the grandson probably won't even read the letter, shaking the envelope out to see if she sent any money. Oh and she's not on a bluetooth, only because she refuses to try any of the new fangled technology available to make peoples' lives easier. She's important and she wants everyone else to know, but at least she tells you directly to your face.

The oblivious twenty-something guy - who's wearing his "Fuck You You Fucking Fuck" t-shirt in a public place, that's not a biker bar or Mardi Gra. He's wearing his bluetooth headset, but no one's calling him, but soon. He's passing the time in line listening to EVERY ring tone on his cell phone at full volume, including rap songs with explicit lyrics almost as bad, but more descriptive than the ones on his t-shirt. He's got a tatoo on his neck that says "Mom" and I wonder how proud she really is of him and his uncaring attitude.

Anyway, these are the dregs...I'm sure there are many more I'm forgetting, but none of these are made up, though I wish they were.

I'm hoping I'm not alone in the thinking that some people need a class in self-awareness or an attitude adjustment. I think we all should be required to take at least a refresher course once a year. Cell phone and bluetooth headsets prohibited.

Quote of the Day: I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. ~Peter De Vries

moving blues

My boyfriend bought a home in Northern Las Vegas and we just moved in last weekend. Personally, I don't own tons of stuff - mostly books and lots of them (much to the chagrin of my boyfriend, his brother, and friends who had to carry bin after bin of them). But, be damned if we filled a whole 24 foot truck and still had to make a couple trips in our cars to get the remaining junk.

It's been a trying week to say the least. We have two cats and the trip in the car was hellacious. Then when we arrived, everyone and their mothers, AND their mass of screaming kids came over. The house was in shambles and my kitten was traumatized. I may have been a little traumatized, too. The rest of the week we spent unpacking. I had end of month woes at work and was dead tired, so unpacking was not exactly what I wanted to do when I came home. And since we hadn't gone shopping yet, we had nothing to eat in the house. If I have to eat another taco from Taco Bell, I may expire.

Oh and did I forget to mention my parents are in town and want to come over. No pressure or anything! They are coming by tomorrow, so today was spent cleaning and continuing to unpack. At least the fridge is finally full and there's beer. That makes me happy.

We had some artists come by before we moved in and draw these lovely pictures on the window. This one probably looks just like a grimey window but I tried to get up closer.

Look real close. It's hard to tell. Follow the black outline.

Yep. It's a big humongous dick. And it's really not drawn very well or to any flattering scale.

How ironic, that whoever drew this was trying to deter people from buying this house (if it was the original owners because it was happened to be a forclosed property). If it was done by random vandals, they must have hoped they would offend someone.

Offend me? A romance novelist. One who tends towards the more erotic in her love scenes. Nice try! I believe I convinced my boyfriend to keep it around longer than I should have. But I found it comical and oddly comforting. :-) When we finally went to clean it off, it was disappointing to know that it was done in dry erase marker. Pitiful!

Anyway, I have to get back to making this place look presentable. And of course, in a week and a half we get our new roommates. Sigh.

Where's that beer??!

Quote of the Day: If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster. ~Isaac Asimov

i'm done!

I've finished the first draft of my novel! I'm about ready to scream! I might scare the new neighbors though, so I'll just use a profuse amount of exclamation points. That's how real writers scream.

I wrote the words THE END last night, 10/02/08, at 11:36pm. My final word count came in at 88,101. I was initially hoping for 100,000 words, but this is just how the plot flowed. I'm sure, with revisions and additional scenes that will be added, I'll be closer to that number.

So now that I've completed the first BIG step, I feel good. But to tell you the truth, I'm feeling a little awkward. I'm all out of whack! I had to remind myself when I came home from work today that I don't need to open up my first draft and write. My hands automatically guided the cursor to that file, ready to click and begin. It's strange.

I guess I'm still in a state of disbelief. I'm anxious to move forward, now that it's done, but I know I have to sit on it for a while before I jump in to revisions. This is harder than I thought it would be. Now, I see what you meant, Maura!

I'm early on finishing this draft according to my goal sheet, but I am behind on the category romance I should be writing. This helps that "need to write" habit. And blogging does, too. I want to get back to more blogs, but with everything that's been going on this last week, I've been beat. I'll begin that saga in my next blog.

Oh and maybe I can get some reading done! If anything, I'm sure I'll sleep well tonight :-)

grand total: 88101 AND COMPLETE!

Quote of the Day: I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. ~James Michener