spring cleaning

It's already March and it seems, once again, I've neglected to just keep writing...or at least, keep the people interested in my wayward life up to date on what the hell is going on with it.

No more procrastination. I'm jumping right in. Bombs away!

It's been a wild couple of months. After blogging about my 2010 resolutions I thought I might have a little downtime for once. You know, to reflect, organize and push forward. Umm. No.

One of my main resolutions was to go back to school. I want to further my education and finally nurture my interests into a rewarding, meaningful career. I contacted a former professor (also a former boyfriend) and asked him how I should go about the whole process. He advised that instead of applying for my Masters, that I apply for my PhD, considering I planned to go that direction anyway and in his experience more funding and benefits were given to the PhD students. I understood the logic and decided to follow his advice. However, it meant I'd have to get all my application materials submitted by the deadline of February 1st.

At first, panic set in. I had less than 3 weeks to get 3 letters of recommendation, transcripts from the colleges I'd attended, a lengthy writing sample, a statement of purpose, and take the GRE, which I had yet to study for, to the history department of UNLV. Normal people would say that I was certifiably insane.

By some strange miracle I managed to get everything on a forward moving track by the last week and a half. I even had meetings set up with the Graduate School Director and the Graduate Program Director of the History Department for Friday and was scheduled to take the GRE the following Wednesday.

Then the first of my three disasters struck...

A quick trip to Target with Mark on a rainy Wednesday evening resulted in my purse being stolen and my car window being punched out.

I've never had my car broken into and I've never had my purse stolen. I've lost my purse once, but it was found and returned. I guess I'd been lucky all this time. Yet, it wasn't all for naught. I did have my wallet on me at the time, so the thieves got my brand new purse that was a Christmas gift, my cell phone, my checkbook, my camera, some extra keys, my address book/planner, a fleece hat and gloves, my make-up bag, some grad school application materials, and (sniff sniff) the notebook I write EVERYTHING in...from grocery lists to pieces for my novels. Other writers, I'm sure you feel my pain on that one. Yes, it could have been a lot worse though. I was worried about the criminals having access to my address and all my friends and family's addresses, but the people I know convinced me the perps were probably only looking for cash, credit cards, and expensive phones or gadgets they could sell. They most likely ditched the rest when they didn't see anything useful. I had to file a police report, another first for me, and open a new checking account. I did get an iPhone to replace my stolen cell (and OMG its awesome!). I set about getting the other things replaced and my car window fixed, but I couldn't fall apart. I mean, I had meetings that Friday AND a big test to study for!

The meetings resulted in rethinking applying for the PhD. Both the directors advised to go for the MA first. I had to agree with them since they knew the best course of action at UNLV. Now, the MA deadline isn't until June 1st, but in order to get a Graduate Assistantship (a large portion of my tuition taken care of if I taught a class) I'd have to still get my application in by February 1st. Also, the MA didn't require GRE scores. Although, since I already signed up and couldn't get my money back I decided to continue my crash course studying and take it, submitting everything by the February 1st deadline.

And so the second disaster struck....

The GRE went horribly. And no, I'm not exaggerating here. I knew one of my essays was altogether wrong (I misread the directions) and the math portion was downright evil. The questions are supposed to get more difficult as you get them right, but mine kept getting easier and for God's sake I still couldn't get them correct. It was brutal and discouraging. I didn't feel too bad knowing I didn't have to record my scores (which I chose not to) and that it was a learning experience for the if and when I have to take it again for the PhD. I so hope I never have to set eyes on it again though.

The following weekend I spruced up an old undergraduate essay for my writing sample and wrote a kick-ass statement of purpose (I really did like my work on that ;-)). It was tight, but I got everything in by February 1st. A few things came up, giving me a chance to get to know various directors, administrative assistants and program counselors, but my application was officially complete and so I waited. I was relieved, anxious, excited, and pretty darn nervous.

Moving on to disaster number three....

Not only did I not receive a graduate assistantship, but I was denied admission. Okay, I wasn't exactly told flat out not to waste their time, I was told that they enjoyed reading my application, but were unsure I was prepared for graduate work. In conclusion, they want me to defer my application to a later date and take a couple of classes as a non-degree seeking student. My grades as an undergrad fell just below 3.0, so I'm assuming they want me to prove I can hang with the other more GPA savvy students. Sigh. This news was pretty disheartening in the beginning since my friends had pumped me up, leading me to believe there was no way I'd be refused. I mean, I'm smart, passionate, driven and it's UNLV, not Yale! Who applies for graduate school in history in Las Vegas anyway. I really did think I was a shoe-in. Ha! See what getting overly excited does?! Where the hell did I leave my low expectations?! I'm so ashamed. I know the rules. Low expectations = low disappointment!

Anyway, the two biggest problems with taking classes as a non-degree seeking student is....no funding or loans for the tuition, so I'd have to come up with the money myself. And not being a full time student with expenses paid, I'd have to keep my job and take classes around my work schedule. Joy. I'd have to find late afternoon or evening classes, which are few and far between, and I'd have to discuss it all with my boss in order to rearrange my schedule. As for the money, I'll have to ask my parents for help. I hate doing that, but this is incredibly important to me and I don't want my pride to get in the way of living a dream.

Now, I'm looking for some questions to be answered regarding what classes to take and then changing my application. After I know exactly how much this will cost, I'll be hitting up the parents. I'll keep you posted on that as it unfolds.

In other news, Valentine's Day came and went. It's been almost 7 months for Mark and I and we're still going strong. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I had an orchid send to his work a few days before the Day of Love as a surprise. He likes surprises and he knows my feelings on V-Day. I don't need to be totally fawned over, I just like to be acknowledged with a few words or a simple card or something original. Mark was a little discouraged that he couldn't get me exactly what he wanted, but it really is the thought that counts and after we talked about it, he ended up buying me a Wii. I'll deal ;-) He also gave me a sweet card. The card would have been enough, but he was adamant about doing something above and beyond. He's the best. And he's adorable.

Together we're embarking on a new adventure as of this Monday. All this graduate school prep is a chance for me (and him) to make a change for the better. Since I'm on the road to improving myself intellectually, I didn't want to fall behind with improvement physically. I've talked about diet and exercise before in my blog and they are in my resolution list. Well, Monday, we're starting P90X, a fitness program that you've probably seen on TV. It's an intense combination of diet and exercise that Mark and I have been researching for a while. We finally decided to BRING IT! as Tony Horton, the creator of the program exclaims in each DVD you do every day. Also, as inspired by my fabulous writing buddies, Maura and Shae, I decided to keep a separate blog to journal my fitness journey. Check out lean and mean, the goth girl's guide to getting fit (and ripped!) in the next day or so to see my first post!

On the writing front, with all the deadlines and disasters of the last couple months my revisions have fallen by the wayside. And now I've set myself up with a rigorous reading schedule before I begin my classes in the fall as well as an intense exercise regimene for the next 90 days. Baby steps for the revisions though, right? I haven't forgotten my novel and school can only add to it. I'm counting on things falling into place as the workouts commence, classes begin, and my life straightens out.

Last, I wanted to congratulate Maura on finishing her novel and synopsis and getting it sent off! Props to Shae for her debut on the big screen here in Vegas, too! You both rock and I hope we continue to encourage each other for years to come.

Quote of the Day: Writing is a struggle against silence. ~Carlos Fuentes