romance..dyann style

march madness

2010-03-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

This month has been full of hope and new beginnings..and as it comes to a close I find myself looking forward to April and beyond.

I plan to take two classes in the Fall at UNLV as a non-degree seeking student (NDSS), but registration doesn't commence until mid April. And NDSSs must wait until accepted students register before we can choose classes. So we'll see what I'm left with. As I mentioned in the last post, I'll be doing my best to work around my current work schedule, meaning cross your fingers that there will be some evening or late afternoon classes offered and still available. In addition, the classes available may have little or no relevance to my concentration of study, but hey, I'm just trying to prove to them I can do it. We'll have to wait and see. I haven't hit my parents up yet for the money because I want the exact amount right in front of me to show them. I'm not forseeing problems with that, but you know what happens when you don't expect the worst. Bingo! Disappointment.

To help combat a little of the above stress as well as get my health and body in shape, Mark and I started P90X (see last post for a little more info). We did a one week run through where we did the workouts and followed the diet program, getting our minds and bodies into the swing of things. We both saw results after just one week. Check out my fitness blog Lean & Mean: A Goth Girl's Guide to Getting Fit to see some "before" photos and how the first week went. I'm currently blogging about the second week, or moreover, the first "official" week. All I can say is that its amazing what changes you can make with proper diet and exercise.

In other news, Mark had new plants and trees put in on Friday. His yard was fairly desolate, but finally its beginning to look more alive. And you all should know how much I miss "green" living in Las Vegas. Desert landscaping is tough if you want something besides rocks, cactus, or dry brown bushes. The soil is basically hard clay, actually caliche, pronounched ka-lee-chee. The weather is hot and dry and the choices are limited when it comes to plans and trees that will withstand such conditions. Mark enlisted the help of a local nursery to help him choose appropriately and get the new greenery transported and planted. He's been hard at work installing a drip system and I think the whole yard will come together nicely. As a bonus, Mark dedicated a section along a side wall for me to grow a couple vegetables and herbs. With a raised bed, I think I can do it. You'd think the idea of a vegetable garden in the desert might sound ridiculous, but many varieties of plants enjoy this type of climate and do rather well. I'm not going overboard...initially...and plan to start with tomatoes, red and green lettuce, spinach, and red and green chili peppers. For herbs, I'm going with basil, dill, and shallots. I chose these plants because I know I'll use them and since this is my first foray into gardening I wanted to keep it simple. The official planting date is mid April so you'll get to see how it goes. I know Shae and Maura garden so I hope you'll give me some helpful tips, guys!

In my inbox a few days ago I received an email to join a local Meetup called the Las Vegas Creative Fiction Writing Critique group. A long name for something fairly simple. Writers helping other writers with positive criticism. I took it as a sign to get my writing back in gear. Even though the group is not necessarily Romance specific, a few of the members write Romance, and most importantly the group leader, so I don't think I'd feel out of place. The group is dedicated to critiquing any members work that wants it. I think I'm ready for this, and I'd actually like to hear some non-Romance readers' and writers' opinions as well. The first meeting is April 3rd @ 10am at a local Barnes and Noble. Check out the link Shae and anyone else if you're interested in joining, or if you'd like to see what Meetup.com is all about. I had to let my RWA and local Chapter memberships lapse due to lack of funds and since this is free, I hope it turns out to be something productive. I'll be letting you know how our first meeting goes.

Off to work out.

Quote of the Day: The process of writing has something infinite about it. Even though it is interrupted each night, it is one single notation. ~Elias Canetti

spring cleaning

2010-03-07T20:03:00.000-08:00

It's already March and it seems, once again, I've neglected to just keep writing...or at least, keep the people interested in my wayward life up to date on what the hell is going on with it.

No more procrastination. I'm jumping right in. Bombs away!

It's been a wild couple of months. After blogging about my 2010 resolutions I thought I might have a little downtime for once. You know, to reflect, organize and push forward. Umm. No.

One of my main resolutions was to go back to school. I want to further my education and finally nurture my interests into a rewarding, meaningful career. I contacted a former professor (also a former boyfriend) and asked him how I should go about the whole process. He advised that instead of applying for my Masters, that I apply for my PhD, considering I planned to go that direction anyway and in his experience more funding and benefits were given to the PhD students. I understood the logic and decided to follow his advice. However, it meant I'd have to get all my application materials submitted by the deadline of February 1st.

At first, panic set in. I had less than 3 weeks to get 3 letters of recommendation, transcripts from the colleges I'd attended, a lengthy writing sample, a statement of purpose, and take the GRE, which I had yet to study for, to the history department of UNLV. Normal people would say that I was certifiably insane.

By some strange miracle I managed to get everything on a forward moving track by the last week and a half. I even had meetings set up with the Graduate School Director and the Graduate Program Director of the History Department for Friday and was scheduled to take the GRE the following Wednesday.

Then the first of my three disasters struck...

A quick trip to Target with Mark on a rainy Wednesday evening resulted in my purse being stolen and my car window being punched out.

I've never had my car broken into and I've never had my purse stolen. I've lost my purse once, but it was found and returned. I guess I'd been lucky all this time. Yet, it wasn't all for naught. I did have my wallet on me at the time, so the thieves got my brand new purse that was a Christmas gift, my cell phone, my checkbook, my camera, some extra keys, my address book/planner, a fleece hat and gloves, my make-up bag, some grad school application materials, and (sniff sniff) the notebook I write EVERYTHING in...from grocery lists to pieces for my novels. Other writers, I'm sure you feel my pain on that one. Yes, it could have been a lot worse though. I was worried about the criminals having access to my address and all my friends and family's addresses, but the people I know convinced me the perps were probably only looking for cash, credit cards, and expensive phones or gadgets they could sell. They most likely ditched the rest when they didn't see anything useful. I had to file a police report, another first for me, and open a new checking account. I did get an iPhone to replace my stolen cell (and OMG its awesome!). I set about getting the other things replaced and my car window fixed, but I couldn't fall apart. I mean, I had meetings that Friday AND a big test to study for!

The meetings resulted in rethinking applying for the PhD. Both the directors advised to go for the MA first. I had to agree with them since they knew the best course of action at UNLV. Now, the MA deadline isn't until June 1st, but in order to get a Graduate Assistantship (a large portion of my tuition taken care of if I taught a class) I'd have to still get my application in by February 1st. Also, the MA didn't require GRE scores. Although, since I already signed up and couldn't get my money back I decided to continue my crash course studying and take it, submitting everything by the February 1st deadline.

And so the second disaster struck....

The GRE went horribly. And no, I'm not exaggerating here. I knew one of my essays was altogether wrong (I misread the directions) and the math portion was downright evil. The questions are supposed to get more difficult as you get them right, but mine kept getting easier and for God's sake I still couldn't get them correct. It was brutal and discouraging. I didn't feel too bad knowing I didn't have to record my scores (which I chose not to) and that it was a learning experience for the if and when I have to take it again for the PhD. I so hope I never have to set eyes on it again though.

The following weekend I spruced up an old undergraduate essay for my writing sample and wrote a kick-ass statement of purpose (I really did like my work on that ;-)). It was tight, but I got everything in by February 1st. A few things came up, giving me a chance to get to know various directors, administrative assistants and program counselors, but my application was officially complete and so I waited. I was relieved, anxious, excited, and pretty darn nervous.

Moving on to disaster number three....

Not only did I not receive a graduate assistantship, but I was denied admission. Okay, I wasn't exactly told flat out not to waste their time, I was told that they enjoyed reading my application, but were unsure I was prepared for graduate work. In conclusion, they want me to defer my application to a later date and take a couple of classes as a non-degree seeking student. My grades as an undergrad fell just below 3.0, so I'm assuming they want me to prove I can hang with the other more GPA savvy students. Sigh. This news was pretty disheartening in the beginning since my friends had pumped me up, leading me to believe there was no way I'd be refused. I mean, I'm smart, passionate, driven and it's UNLV, not Yale! Who applies for graduate school in history in Las Vegas anyway. I really did think I was a shoe-in. Ha! See what getting overly excited does?! Where the hell did I leave my low expectations?! I'm so ashamed. I know the rules. Low expectations = low disappointment!

Anyway, the two biggest problems with taking classes as a non-degree seeking student is....no funding or loans for the tuition, so I'd have to come up with the money myself. And not being a full time student with expenses paid, I'd have to keep my job and take classes around my work schedule. Joy. I'd have to find late afternoon or evening classes, which are few and far between, and I'd have to discuss it all with my boss in order to rearrange my schedule. As for the money, I'll have to ask my parents for help. I hate doing that, but this is incredibly important to me and I don't want my pride to get in the way of living a dream.

Now, I'm looking for some questions to be answered regarding what classes to take and then changing my application. After I know exactly how much this will cost, I'll be hitting up the parents. I'll keep you posted on that as it unfolds.

In other news, Valentine's Day came and went. It's been almost 7 months for Mark and I and we're still going strong. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I had an orchid send to his work a few days before the Day of Love as a surprise. He likes surprises and he knows my feelings on V-Day. I don't need to be totally fawned over, I just like to be acknowledged with a few words or a simple card or something original. Mark was a little discouraged that he couldn't get me exactly what he wanted, but it really is the thought that counts and after we talked about it, he ended up buying me a Wii. I'll deal ;-) He also gave me a sweet card. The card would have been enough, but he was adamant about doing something above and beyond. He's the best. And he's adorable.

Together we're embarking on a new adventure as of this Monday. All this graduate school prep is a chance for me (and him) to make a change for the better. Since I'm on the road to improving myself intellectually, I didn't want to fall behind with improvement physically. I've talked about diet and exercise before in my blog and they are in my resolution list. Well, Monday, we're starting P90X, a fitness program that you've probably seen on TV. It's an intense combination of diet and exercise that Mark and I have been researching for a while. We finally decided to BRING IT! as Tony Horton, the creator of the program exclaims in each DVD you do every day. Also, as inspired by my fabulous writing buddies, Maura and Shae, I decided to keep a separate blog to journal my fitness journey. Check out lean and mean, the goth girl's guide to getting fit (and ripped!) in the next day or so to see my first post!

On the writing front, with all the deadlines and disasters of the last couple months my revisions have fallen by the wayside. And now I've set myself up with a rigorous reading schedule before I begin my classes in the fall as well as an intense exercise regimene for the next 90 days. Baby steps for the revisions though, right? I haven't forgotten my novel and school can only add to it. I'm counting on things falling into place as the workouts commence, classes begin, and my life straightens out.

Last, I wanted to congratulate Maura on finishing her novel and synopsis and getting it sent off! Props to Shae for her debut on the big screen here in Vegas, too! You both rock and I hope we continue to encourage each other for years to come.

Quote of the Day: Writing is a struggle against silence. ~Carlos Fuentes

2009 resolutions revisited for 2010

2010-01-03T14:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! After a couple months of blog neglect, I'm back with a vengeance. It's a new year and I'm filled with a fresh sense of excitement and renewal. Just writing new numbers when typing the date makes me feel like I'm starting over. In a way it inspires me to change and grow...for the better of course; and ultimately record the goals and dreams that will help me with that growth. The organizer in me also jumps for joy because I get the chance to clean out closets, my room and my head - getting rid of the old and the useless and the clutter. Then I look at a clean daily planner and fantasize....ahh, to begin again.

I decided to go back to last years' resolution post and edit/revise. Since that IS where I am with my novel -revisions- I figured it would be appropriate.
2010 - New Year Resolutions

1) Publish my novel.

Last year I wanted to publish the trilogy, but I got ahead of myself. Especially with some new things I'm adding to my plate this year. One at a time...One at a time. I plan to continue with my revisions and write every day. I need to keep the momentum going.

2) Exercise.

Waiting for the weight bench Mark keeps mentioning he'll get for me. (wink wink) I joke. Its up to ME and only me. The plan with the bench is already there. I have the exercises and the schedule. Now to just do it! My body screams at me at times to move and though I hate to run, I find myself aching to do just that. Odd, huh? But other than that I want to start Yoga. I think it would benefit me in so many ways...with my stress, my flexibility, the knots and kinks in my back and neck, and with my writing of course (thanks for that spark of an idea, Matt!). I have videos galore and with YouTube and the internet, I'm sure I can get a program going for 3 to 4 times a week.

3) Eat better and drink more water.

I went back to pescatarianism (vegetarian who eats fish and/or shellfish) about 8 months ago and am still going strong. My previous foray into not eating meat lasted about a year and then I began having strange dreams about meat that stressed me out so much I finally caved and went back to my carnivore ways. Unfortunately, I gained 25 pounds eating meat and especially fast food. Add unhappiness to the equation and you have the potential for disaster. I started exercising right before the move out of my ex's house. That helped, but after the move I began researching vegetarianism and veganism again. I read more books (check out Skinny Bitch, it will kick you in the butt and open your eyes to some horrors going on in the world of food) and became more aware and knowledgeable about what really goes on in the meat industry. I realized I wanted to stop eating meat for health reasons, to make a stand about commericialized slaughtering and processing of animals, and to help the environment. I'm hoping to eat less fish and shellfish as well and adopt a near-vegan lifestyle, limiting the animal products I use and consume. I lost the weight I gained 8 months ago and feel better in general, but I find I still get stuck in ruts when it comes to meatless food. I miss variety and when it comes down to it, it's unnecessary because there are a TON of meatless dishes to partake in. So part of the eating better goal is to cook more vegetarian meals and experiment with spices and flavors. Also, I have to give Mark props for being incredibly supportive of my vegetarianism even though he eats meat. He's always concerned about what I can eat and takes an active interest in vegetarianism and the meals I make. I sometimes get emotional over certain things and make snide or sarcastic comments but he takes them in stride and it makes me respect him even more! Oh and I should be drinking 8 glasses of water a day, minimum.

4) Drink more wine.

Still stands.

5) Get finances in order.

I'm not doing badly. But Im not doing well either. I exist. Barely. This is in part because I don't make much at my job. Dont get me wrong. I love that I even HAVE a job, one that I don't mind going to everyday, and one that gives me benefits and vacation days, and a stable work history. But I could be doing so much better. I have a degree and I'm damn smart. One of my later resolutions will show you one of the ways I plan to fix this *could be doing better* issue, but for now I need to get back to getting the debt gone and gone for good. A while ago I thought about buying a home but was told to get the debt down or else I'd have a home with no money to do anything else. Then I was thinking of moving back East, but still wanted to get myself in a good financial position. I still want to get myself up to speed and I'm still working on it. A friend gave me Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover last year and I keep coming back to it because it's an awesome no-nonsense system. I'm taking it one step at a time and hope to be debt free one day. It takes time, but I'm confident. Even with all my student loans! :-)

6) Travel.

Mark and I are planning a small trip this month either to San Simeon to see Hearst Castle or over to Colorado Springs. Both would be fun considering I love to travel and want to do more of it. Eventually (and hopefully in conjunction with my last resolution) I'll be able to go to Europe or overseas this or next year. I will be getting my passport in the next two months, too. I would also like to journal my travels, in the written word AND photographically. And maybe one day I'll get the scrapbooks done for my Rhode Island trips.

7) Learn to knit.

I'd like to have a tangible, practical skill. When the end of the world comes and I'm left in the countryside to rebuild the human species and society, what the heck could I provide for my fellow survivors? How about a sweater? It gets damn cold in the aftermath.
Actually, I think it would just be nice to knit a scarf, some socks, or a hat.

8) Go to Grad School.

Ok, so this is the BIG one. I'm hungry for intellectual stimulation. I'm sure Vegas has something to do with it because it's severely lacking in this department. Not that there isn't any here. You can find it...in the small corners of the city, at the college, or in certain people....but it's not the city's main focus. And it isn't prevalent at my job. Luckily I have Mark, my family and my friends, who consider it vastly important. But I'd always hoped to do something more with myself and my career. Writing helps that, but I'd like to get involved in something that could become steady work and a chance to give back, teach, inspire... I mentioned that I was interested in history and the Regency period more specifically, but I'm also interested in what it takes to become involved in curation at museums, art galleries, etc. I found that Public History is the way toward that and at UNLV you can tack that on to your area of study. Perfect! I plan on setting up a meeting with the graduate coordinator for this month to go over how it all works and what I need to do financially, mentally, and professionally to prepare and get in for the Fall. Its all very exciting.

So that's it. Those are my resolutions for 2010. And what of the others from 2009.

I have a primary doctor now. She is Mark's doctor and she was on my insurance plan. I had a

couple heart issues and after a bunch of tests, she found out I had a mitrovalve prolapse. In layman's terms that's a floppy valve. I means my heart has funky beats evert so often, but its still strong and there isn't any problem beginning a rigorous exercise regimene. My blood tests came back great except for a high amount of iron. I had a test done for Hemochromotosis, a rare blood disease, but I am just a carrier and don't have the matching gene that allows the disease to express itself. Phew...

I also have a gynocologist now. I'm clean of all disease and am on birth control again.

I still have to find another dentist.

Of learning one language a year - I plan to refresh my French since I'll need it in grad school for my area of study and work on Welsh when I can.

Of getting rid of things I don't need - I'm doing it!

I'm working on taking care of my skin, I'm looking into laser hair removal, and Mark has helped me experiment with make-up like I never have before! Can you believe I wore false eyelashes to my company Christmas party?

I got the tattoo and am looking into what I'd like next and where :-)

I've taken more photos and will try to take even more!

I'll be refraining from moving back East. I've got too much here to stay for now. Sorry Ariana. But with school and better finances I'll be able to visit more often.

And don't think I've forgotten my best writing buddies in the world. Maura and Shae, I'm heading over to both of your blogs right now to comment.

Watch out world! Here I come.

The pursuits of happiness

2009-11-14T12:23:00.000-08:00

I know it’s the middle of November and not only did I miss out on NaNoWriMo, but I’ve had a hard time focusing on anything in the writing realm. I’m trying to bust out of that funk with my blogging and then slowly moving back into my novel. Thus, the current goal is to just write. Something. Everyday. Whether it be journaling, longer emails, blogs, exercises, or novel revisions, something will be done everyday.

I have been reading. I’m racing to finish New Moon before the movie comes out on the 20th. I’m not enjoying the second book as much as the first one, but it’s still entertaining and I do plan to finish the series. In addition to my other books in progress listed on the right, I also picked up Ragtime by E.L. Doctorow. I’ve been trying to keep up with the Las Vegas Weekly because its fairly liberal compared to the local community newspaper and it reports on not just the most popular stories but the more obscure ones as well. And the writing is great - witty, sarcastic, honest and thorough. So, E.L. Doctorow, an award winning novelist, spoke at the Clark County library last Sunday and though I didn’t make it to the lecture, I loved what the LVW wrote about him and thought I would check out his work. Ragtime seemed unique and it won an amazing award (award here). I’m not big on mainstream fiction, but this piece borders on historical fiction with a bit of fantasy thrown in. Doctorow’s imagery is beautiful…and sometimes painfully frank. Every once in a while it’s nice to branch out into the literary world.

I’ve also been doing some major soul searching. In particular, I’ve been looking into what I’d like to do with my life career-wise. Now, I’m not one to base my worth or define myself by what society terms a “career”…BUT, I would like a steady paycheck and my writing isn’t bringing in any sound income. Honestly, I don’t want my writing to be about *income* per se. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if writing made me vast amounts of money, but I would be just as pleased if it only brought in a few dollars. The writing makes ME happy and that’s what’s most important. Work wise there are a ton of other things that I’d like to learn/do before I move on from this life. The key here is learn. I love school. And I’ve been to many, just to see what I like and what I can gain from the experience. I’m thinking its time to go back..for good. I have my degree in history and I’d like to get my Masters in history as well. And who knows, maybe even my Doctorate. I thrive on research and I don’t think I’d be a horrible teacher either. It would also help me greatly with my writing. Especially since I have thousands of ideas for historical romances. And how horrible would it be to have to study abroad for a few weeks? As for what I’d like to study specifically, definitely European history. My undergraduate degree was in a concentration in Medieval studies, but I’m ready for something different. I’m really interested in British history during the Regency period. All of that era fascinates me and I’d love to become an expert on such a rich and complex time in our history. Fall registration at UNLV is already closed, but I’m gearing up for next fall if everything goes as planned. I’d need letters of recommendation (it’s so nice to have a former instructor as an ex :-P), writing samples, statement of intent, and an application and fee. Luckily, no GRE is needed for a Masters. It will take some work, but I’m excited about getting back into improving my mind.

Next on the list, improving the body.

The fall Into winter

2009-11-14T11:54:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite months is already over and I feel incredibly behind with…everything! October was such a whirlwind that my heart just couldn’t take it and I decided to go to the doctor and get it checked out. Nothing major, or so I hope, just strange heart palpitations. They’re taking it seriously, nonetheless, and are doing a full range of tests. They took blood and urine and who knows what else when I wasn’t paying attention. My EKG came up normal so they fit me with a 24 hour monitor on Monday and I took an Echo and Stress and dye test on Wednesday. I’ll keep you all posted of what becomes of that.

Thus begins a new chapter in my life. Aging. Getting old. Heading down the perverbial hill towards death. Morbid, I know. As the bumper sticker says…I’m not Goth, I’m just prepared. Sigh. And I finally got myself to two other doctors that I had been needing to see as well. The eye doctor was first. On my insurance plan we get a free annual exam and since I’ve never been to the eye doctor..ever..I figured I would use my health benefits while I can. I hadn’t noticed much of a decline, if any, in my eyesight except for some blurriness at night around the bright neon lights of Vegas. The doctor said my eyes are perfectly healthy but I have a slight astigmatism in the right eye and nearsightedness in the left. Together my eyes naturally correct themselves, but she gave me a light prescription for the times I’d like to see in HD, rather than normal J It’s a milestone in my life considering all of my family have worn glasses for most of their lives. My body parts are beginning to wear out. Ugh. The bright side of the situation is that I now have an excuse to get some naughty librarian spectacles.

The other doctor I finally bit the bullet on was the gynecologist. It’s amazing I found a female doctor AND one that was taking new patients on my insurance plan. Long ago when I called around it seemed no one was taking anyone new, but then I’m guessing the recession is affecting everyone..even doctors! The exam went quickly and they did blood work for all STDs. I’m proud to say I’m healthy and STD-free AND now on birth control pills again after almost 10 years!

Ah yes, birth control. I was actually rather excited about going back on the pill seeing that when I first started it back when I was 16 it helped regulate my periods and got rid of my debilitating cramps. I had since pretty much grown out of those kinds of problems, but I was looking forward to being more consistent and have basically non-existent cramps. I didn’t expect what ended up happening… The first seven days (or the first phase of the tri-phase pills) I was an emotional wreck. I was moody to a fault, going from happy to sad to angry in a matter of minutes. The sadness was the worst. Most of the time I felt depressed and ready to burst into tears (which I’m ashamed to say…I did) and for no major reason! Mornings and evenings were the most turbulent, when my mind would just start spinning and coming up with a wild array of things to get upset about. And now as I think back, I feel silly. Luckily, I had some inkling as to WHY I was feeling so miserable, even when I was feeling it, so I would just let it go, ride it out and know it would pass eventually. I felt for Mark, who had to deal with it that intimately, and so soon into our relationship, but as usual for him, he was incredibly supportive. He mentioned how out of it I was and how I didn’t seem myself at all. I would get really quiet and zone out. As soon as the second phase pills came into play I seemed to even out. I’m hoping my body gets used to the hormones for the next round coming up here soon. If not, I’ll have to look into a different type of pills. I would hate to feel like that every month.

The beginning of the month was rather exciting because it was Mark’s birthday. The big FOUR OH! and it just so happened that my parents were going to be in Vegas for the Senior Games that weekend. Mark’s birthday was the 2nd and it fell on a Friday. Weeks before I knew I wanted to make it special, considering I like him…a lot J I had a bouquet of the most gothic flowers I could find (a combination of blood red roses with a black sheen on the petals and faint creamy pink roses, burgundy foliage and other dark greenery) sent to his work because he mentioned he liked flowers AND I wanted to embarrass him in front of his colleagues, like a good girlfriend should. He was harassed by the best of ‘em, and for the evening, I planned to give him his gifts and then take him to dinner at my favorite sushi restaurant. It was a wonderful night and a great weekend. He told me it was one of the best birthday weekends he’s had in a long time. That made me all warm and fuzzy inside. What can I say? I love to see him smile.

Dinner with the parents happened on that Sunday. I had no worries about Mark not impressing them, considering they’re fairly easy to please (ha ha) and are mostly concerned with my happiness. And I know that he can hold his own in most situations, being an intelligent, confident and worldly man. We all chatted effortlessly and the Cheesecake Factory provided some amazing food. My Dad commented as we parted ways that he and my Mom liked Mark, so I figured it was a successful evening.

Since then we’ve spent a lot of time together and have settled into a nice, electrifyingly sweet groove. You’ve already heard about Naked Fridays, but we’ve created a few other special days. I’ll refrain from going into those out of respect for imagination. What’s really awesome is when Mark decides to change it up and throw something different into the mix. Just because. That kind of romantic quirk could most definitely define him as a “keeper”…

But our relationship isn’t just comprised of the erotic. I mean, we also go out to the movies, eat fast food, watch reality television (like Tool Academy and Say Yes to the Dress to name a few) and even go to fabulous Vegas events like the quarterly Gun Show. Yes, Mark got me tickets to the Gun Show. And yes, he kissed his biceps when he said it. :-D As a fairly staunch liberal, this isn’t normally my event of choice, but my curiosity frequently gets the better of me, especially when I think of the photo ops and story ideas that could come of it. Mark grew up with guns in Oklahoma and still enjoys shooting a round at the range for sport. Men seem to be drawn to blowing shit up and destroying things in the name of sport and science. Me, I can safely say: not a fan. I understand the need for guns but have a hard time getting past the devastating power a gun has. I’ve shot one before and instead of giving me the adrenaline rush many say they get from it, I only got more afraid. With each squeeze of the trigger I braced myself with eyes nearly closed for the massive kickback and the knowledge that what I just did could obliterate a human being in one flesh-ripping second. Yeah, I’ll pass. But the show was…interesting. Various booths were set up with guns and gun paraphernalia for sale, but what shocked me were the booths for a random array of items: antiques, other weapons, glass-blown figurines, used books, jewelry and novelty clothing. I’m guessing gun enthusiasts bring along their wives and such, so why not cater to them, too. I could have done without the rebel flags, lack of deodorant, and Obama bashing literature, but the guy with the parrot on his shoulder made it worth it. And the characters there - from the young wannabe gangster to the diehard survivalist were entertainment enough. I did feel like a badass in my Harley boots and rockabilly t-shirt when I picked up a gun and did my best Dirty Harry impression. Mark threatens to take me out on the range one of these days. We’ll see.

For Halloween, Mark and I hoped to make it to the Fetish and Fantasy Ball, held at the Hard Rock Hotel, but the Day of the Dead crept up on us so fast we were left unprepared. We plan to order some exotic/Goth outfits from an online store that specializes in the more macabre. It takes a few weeks because it is done in China and per individual measurement. Next year for sure. This year we spent some time at the Town Center Mall and accidentally ended up in the center of a huge trick or treating event…for kids. Adults were dressed up as well, but most were with their children and or dogs. We sat on a bench and just took in all the costumes. Some unique, some cheesy, some cute, some beyond inappropriate. Would you go as a hooker if you had two young children with you? Well this IS Vegas, maybe she wasn’t in costume. We ended up staying for quite a while and brainstormed what cool costumes we might try next year or in the future.

So now it’s almost Friday and I’m at work. I’m blogging at work. That should tell you how slow it is. Matter of fact they laid off my co-worker, Michele, but by the grace of some spastic time-continuum, someone up in accounting happened to be leaving for greener pastures in California. Michele was able to snap up that job before anything catastrophic happened. I’m gonna miss Michele down with Kim and I in our hole off of the warehouse, but like we had much choice. The economy is killing the casino industry and Stations is taking a serious hit all over the board. I’m just glad Michele will only be a couple flights of stairs away. It’ll get me in shape. I just hope the work environment has improved since she last came down as a refugee. But then everyone wants to work with Kim and I. We’re a blast and we don’t buy into that gossipy bullcrap…most of the time.

Anyway, I think it’s time to end this entry. Next time I’ll go into my reading and writing pursuits, along with what else I have in store for myself.

naked friday

2009-09-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

Enter Mark: Las Vegas City Planner extraordinaire, intelligence laden, hot as a rock star in leather pants, wit up the wazoo, wild hair on the long-ish side, a heart of gold, puppy dog eyes, and 6 foot 2 inches of bonafide, sinew-packed man with a penchant for using *product* in his hair and Monty Python references... Can we all say yum?

Any more gushing and I might make myself sick..and we can't have that after his inaugural appearance on my blog.... ;-)

With a new man in my life comes the emergence of new traditions. Our first being Naked Friday.

Naked Friday's really are quite simple. Once done with all forays into the public domain for the day...disrobe. Completely and preferably with total abandon. Rinse and repeat. Then go about your business as described for the rest of said Friday and maybe even into Saturday. You can do this alone, if need be, but it is much better with another and hopefully someone you'd enjoy seeing nude. Touching in this state is encouraged yet up to each individual and not necessary. Just remember not to perform certain tasks that emphasize the reasons we aren't naked most of the time. These include...sanding floors, opening pickle jars, coughing, and bicycle maintenance...

All joking aside, Naked Friday's are first and foremost...intimate. And well, we all crave intimacy in a variety of forms. Because while it can be incredibly sexy and sensual, nudity is also awkward, unusual, and sobering. We're forced to surrender to our hang-ups or dwell in them. All of our so-called *flaws* are on display for the other to see and we must figure out how to handle them. Since everyone is different when it comes to dealing with such raw and pure feelings, it's inevitably a learning experience for all parties involved. Being so open has eased many fears that I've had in the past and I'm honored to be able to share such an experience with Mark.

Go ahead people....try it!

TGINF, Baby!!

a new day

2009-09-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

September already? Where has the time gone... Just yesterday I was whining about this and that, then moving on toward new ideas and new endeavors. Life never ceases to amaze me with its twists and turns and ups and downs, like that of a novel you can't put down and you never want to end. And so it continues....

I did end up picking my friends' brains about my business idea and everyone has been helpful and supportive in all aspects. I'm not going to give up on it yet. It may need tweaking and a little time (and money) to get into the works, but its still a viable thought that grows and morphs with each day. I'll let you all know as it progresses..

In the beginning of August I went to visit my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Ariana, in Newport, Rhode Island. I stayed with her and her boyfriend Alan at their home off the Point District. I went last year and it was a whirlwind trip, but this year it was much more laid back and relaxing. Nothing like a vacation to help rejuvenate the soul, right? And that's exactly what it did. I fell right into step once I got there. I initially thought I'd have trouble adjusting to the non-working schedule, but...um....no. I was able to sleep in, watch cable, enjoy the moisture in the air and the lovely color green that I miss so much living here in the desert. And along with the foliage came the history and the architecture of old. It all makes me want to breath deeply again. I was able to take a couple more tours of the mansions, photograph cemeteries, and hang out in bars where everybody new my name. Okay, so everyone didn't know my name, but when the bouncers and the wait staff remember you, it gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling. We also caught a concert and a couple comedy shows at the Yachting Center, which is a great, intimate venue right on the wharf. Newport is surreal and I was beyond glad to get to spend almost two weeks there enjoying it and the company of Ariana and Alan and all the other good people that made my visit special. Upon returning I expected more of a let down, but the trip seemed to rev me up and give me somewhat of a new lease on life. I took stock of things and regrouped...

Recently, I've been reminded by a certain special someone and, of course, nudged by the incessant clock that ticks away in my head, about my goals posted earlier this year. I like goals. I make a lot of them. It seems to give an idea more immediacy, more focus and more permanence. And well, if I have say....18 goals and roughly only half get accomplished I feel successful in that accomplishment. Because if I had only one and didn't accomplish it, I'd feel like a failure. I went back and read through them again. Some I had completely forgotten, others had fallen by the wayside for various reasons, a couple need to be re-evaluated and the rest are done!

As for the writing, I may not have kept up with the incredibly demanding schedule I imposed upon myself, but I'm still moving forward and trudging along. My main book is still fresh and alive, in revisions. It's taking much more time and effort than I imagined. It hasn't made me love writing any less or dampened my spirit though. If anything it has strengthened my respect for the craft and for the authors out there that are creating and getting their stories out there. It's a fascinating and wildly difficult process, but I learn more and more with each step and I'm confident in my ability. We'll see how long that lasts! ;-)

I'm wondering if I should do NaNoWriMo this year. I'd love to get back into the groove of writing every day in that manic form, but I fear it may detract from my revisions. I'll have to think about it.

I'll leave it at that for now....the muse will be back soon, I'm sure.

Quote of the Day: An incurable itch for scribbling takes possession of many, and grows inveterate in their insane breasts. ~Juvenal, Satires

on the horizon

2009-07-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

I realize that my last blog may have been a tad melancholy and dramatic....No regrets though. Thank you to all my blog followers and friends who gave me their well wishes and words of wisdom and courage. You are the reason I bounce back from these moods so quickly! :-)

In my quest to keep myself thoroughly ensconced in all that is calm and bright, I have tried to surround myself with people who I admire and who make me feel...at peace. My circle of friends are a wild and wooly bunch who have a myriad of talents and skills. When searching for what I want to do in life, I often turn to them for advice and encouragement.

Lately, as I work on the revisions of my novel (I'm up to Chapter 5 and running) and work on my financial health (cough cough), I've come across the prospect of starting my own business. This comes from a slew of directions and inspirations, mostly that of friends embarking on their own business journeys (Shae in baking and Chris in a top secret web business) and from my hope in doing something that doesn't tie me down to one specific place, making me enough money to live comfortably and write my novels.

In the excitement of my idea stage, I did some serious research and am pleasantly surprised at what I found. My idea is definitely not new, but my take on it is....different. I can't go into detail quite yet, but know that I may have something here. And once I get this nailed down better in business plan form (you all know how much I love research and reports :::big smile::) I'll be looking to my friends and calling upon said talents and skills to help me make this dream a reality.

Look forward to me picking your brains....

Quote of the Day: If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. ~Lord Byron

finding myself

2009-06-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

I've discovered that it's when you're sitting alone at twilight that you find out who you really are.

Somehow by the light of day your thoughts are different. With the sun comes clarity, vision, and purpose. With the moon comes panic, chaos, and deviance. And with me, twilight opens the dam and my thoughts spill out and mingle like a massive stew of nostalgia and unrealized dreams - with a hefty helping of fear dumped in when the vapors reach a crescendo.

I've had plenty of these so-called "shadow times" to reflect and dwell in all that is me since I moved into the new place. It's not pretty. In fact, it's downright depressing. I know I've talked about this before but who knew it would be so difficult for me. I actually look forward to the weekdays, when I can go to work and avoid being alone with myself. It gives me some semblance of structure and responsibility, whereas I could be at home staring at the wall. You all know I have plenty of things to do, but I lack the discipline to do them. I have nobody to answer to. And it's not like I need someone to crack the whip, but I need someone there (physically) to care. I care, but only after it's gotten too far gone for me to take.

This brings me to something I had an inkling about before, but I didn't want to admit. I'm co-dependent. There, I said it. Now, I don't believe my relationships are one-sided like they say in their definitions, but I am addicted to being in a relationship. I'm not sure why. Could my parents long marriage have the adverse effect and negatively inspire me to ALWAYS want to be included in a partnership? I'm not sure. Or could it be that I have trouble establishing platonic relationships with people? I have friends, but not deep, meaningful ones. My best friend in Rhode Island is the only long-term friend I've had and I would do anything for her. She's in Rhode Island though! My partners' have always been my best friends as well. Again, I could go on and on all day about this.

So we've established that I'm lazy and co-dependent. I'm also a control freak. I already new this, but it likes to lay dormant until something catastrophic happens. Something out of my control, go figure. Instead of freaking out, I withdraw from life and need time to figure out how to get that control back. I tend to lash out verbally, too, especially with people I care about.

There's more I need to say, yet I need a break. It took me most of the day just to get this out and I have a chapter to revise. At least I have that to go on. Maybe there will be more tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Quote of the Day: I'd rather be caught holding up a bank than stealing so much as a two-word phrase from another writer. ~Jack Smith

when in doubt

2009-05-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

post a video...

Since I'm incredibly overwhelmed with everything that is going on in my life right now and because I'm just in one of those moods, here's a treat. My favorite emo/goth rocker.

I miss Adam.

Quote of the Day: The ablest writer is only a gardener first, and then a cook: his tasks are, carefully to select and cultivate his strongest and most nutritive thoughts; and when they are ripe, to dress them, wholesomely, and yet so that they may have a relish. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

back in the saddle

2009-05-25T16:54:00.001-07:00

I finally got the summary of my novel organized into a place where I'm fairly happy with it. I'm sure it needs a lot of work still, but at least I have a solid foundation to start with. First drafts are one thing, but if your plot is flawed and it depends on a sequence of events for a mystery you might as well get the plot in line before you start chipping away at lofty revisions. At least, this is my thinking.

I set up a new document, pasted my first draft into it and labeled it "Second Draft." I sat down with my summary, my notes, and my cup of coffee and began this tedious process of rewriting.

And it sucks!

I can't sit as long as my brain wants me to because my chair is wood and HARD and I have a bony ass that falls asleep right when I'm on a roll. Not to mention my fear of blood clots. I swear my calf is throbbing more than usual.

Also, I don't have a desk and the bottom of my laptop is hot. Add the 100 degree Las Vegas weather and now my thighs are drenched in sweat.

Plus, my back hurts from hunching over to type.

In conclusion, my butt is asleep, I feel a blood clot coming on, my thighs are sweaty and my back is sore.

Why am I doing this again?

Oh right..I'm a writer.

P.S. HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

Quote of the Day: The only cure for writer's block is insomnia. ~Merit Antares

tag team...back again

2009-05-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

In getting back into the swing of things, I finally completed my portion of the tag team story that Maura and Shae so dutifully finished on time...But better late than never, right? Well, here it is. No title yet. You decide!

As the plane slowly backed away from its designated gate, Sam realized that he didn't want to leave Chad. Yes, the living conditions at the camp where he had been working as a doctor helping with the refugees from Darfur had been dirty and cramped and often very dangerous. But he had felt like he was doing something important, more important catering to the whims of Manhattan's social elite, who only wanted the latest and greatest anti-depressant to cope with their problems. Hah, problems, like too much money and not enough compassion or understanding. After hearing the stories of violence in the camps, he marveled at the way the refugees had coped with their lives and still seemed happy, despite the cramped conditions and no food. As Keon, his Sudanese translator, had explained, their lives were better still in the camps than they were in their former homes, and that they were simply glad to be alive.

Alive. That was it, that was how Sam felt now. And it was due to what he had experienced. And Maggie. How could he leave Maggie? He could see her plainly in his mind. He remembered the first day he arrived at the Amnabak camp. He was tired and dirty and pretty sure he had made the biggest mistake of his life when he looked over to see a blur whoosh past him. She was short and red-haired with rounded curves and she never seemed to stop moving, like a hummingbird constantly in flight. The complete opposite of the women he had always dated, cool thin blondes who never did anything that might make them perspire, except the occasional Bikram yoga class.

The first time he saw her, she was playing soccer with a group of Sudanese children and he smiled at the memory of her laughter as the kids easily stole the ball from her. Maggie's laugh. She was always laughing, and she could find humor in the darkest of places.

Sam remembered the day they had left Amnabak to check on patients at the Guereda hospital. He had only been in Chad a few weeks but already he admired the dedication Maggie gave as an aid worker. She had volunteered as part of a graduate program she was in, then stayed long past her departure date.

"I can always go back to Nebraska, marry an insurance salesman and have the three children, brick house and get a golden retriever like my parents want, but first I wanted to make a difference," Maggie told him.

He watched her closely that day. No one was stranger for long with Maggie. She charmed everyone with her smile. She carried pockets full of cheap butterscotch candies, the kind wrapped in yellow cellophane, and handed them out wherever she was, leaving a trail of crinkly wrappers and happy smiles behind. Her curly hair was always trying to escape the braid she kept it in and she had a smattering of light freckles across her nose no matter how much sunscreen she slathered on each day. He learned a lot about her that day.

They stayed later at Guereda longer than they had planned and the hospital administrator urged them to stay, rather than make the drive back to Amnabak in the dark. But Dr. Mendes, the WHO doctor who had accompanied them wanted to get back to the camp and their driver Chidi assured them that he could get them back safely. It had all gone smoothly until they heard gunfire. Chidi pulled the Jeep into a deep ravine by the side of the road. The gunfire was from rival militia groups and they were caught in the crossfire. Even though the Jeep was clearly marked as an international aid vehicle, Chidi felt it was safer to wait for daylight, when peacekeeper patrols resumed. They sat huddled on the side of the Jeep, the sound of automatic weapons echoing around them.

"Anyone for a sing-a-long?" Maggie joked. "A rousing chorus of 'Kumbaya' perhaps?"

At first Sam though she was nuts, but as he saw her shiver in the darkness, he realized that she was scared too, but as always was determined to make the best of it. He moved closer to her, and put his arm around her. She was rigid for a moment, then relaxed, and leaned on him a bit. He had never wanted to protect someone more than he did at that moment, and he started to make up stories about how his mother's society friends would handle the situation, just to make her laugh.

"Now see here, Mr. Rebel," Sam said with the affected tone of a wealthy matron, "you really must stop this fighting, we have a verrry important dinner to get to you know. No time for this kind of nonsense, my good man."

Maggie chuckled a little, and they spent the rest of the night talking about everything and anything and Sam knew that was the night he fell in love

***
Maggie smiled at the little boy as Dr. Mendes listened to his heart. The youngster had arrived with his mother and two little sisters only an hour ago. He appeared to be healthier than most of the children who came through here but you could never be too sure. Illness and death occurred all too frequently in the refugee camp and Dr. Mendes was doing his best to reduce the awful statistics.

It was far too often a losing battle, though. Refugees poured into the camp and supplies were precious and scarce. As were doctors. And now they were short one. Maggie kept her smile pasted in place in spite of the tremor of anger that tore through her. Sam knew what they were facing here. How could he leave now?

Dr. Mendes declared the boy healthy and lifted him down from the table. Maggie handed him a candy which he accepted cautiously before scurrying back to his mother and sisters across the room.

“Is that it?” the doctor asked wearily.

Maggie rubbed his neck as he slumped on his stool. “For now,” she said. “You should go lie down while it’s quiet.”

“I will,” he said. “Call me if you need me.”

He walked away, a distinct droop noticeable in his shoulders and Maggie’s anger bubbled up again. Damn Sam, anyway! And damn herself for allowing him to mean so much to her. He wasn’t the first doctor to bail on the camp after a short time, and he certainly wouldn’t be the last. Most of them came in with such noble ideas of helping the unfortunate. But time and again they left in frustration or grief, unable to face the overwhelming odds that were against them.

But Maggie had believed Sam wasn’t one of those. In spite of his obviously pampered upbringing, Sam was one of the more level-headed doctors to have shown up at the camp in a long time. He was undaunted in the face of the staggering number of deaths that occurred. He wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and never once complained about the lack of nurses which resulted in his having to do work that was considered beneath most doctors in the States. He was compassionate, caring, and gifted. Dr. Mendes had grown to rely on Sam heavily, knowing the younger doctor was the best asset to have arrived at the camp in a year.

And now he was gone. Maggie did her best to understand his motives but his mother’s letter had been cryptic at best. An emergency at home and Sam was desperately needed. Ha! She’d probably broken a nail and her manicurist had quit on her.

Maggie sighed deeply, regretting her snide thoughts. God forbid something really terrible had happened. But from everything Sam had ever told her about his mother, her “emergencies” were often anything but. She had made it clear that she was not happy with Sam’s decision to come to Africa. Maggie wouldn’t put it past her to have cooked up some phony emergency to get Sam to come home and join his father’s practice. She sighed again as she stepped out of the building into the blazing heat.

“Something wrong, Miss Maggie?” Chidi was standing near the door, gently kicking a battered soccer ball to a couple of toddlers who squealed with delight as the ball rolled towards them. It never failed to amaze Maggie how some of the children had such energy in this heat.

“No, Chidi. I’m fine.”

The young man looked at her shrewdly. “You are missing Dr. Sam I think.”

Maggie smiled. There were no secrets in the camp, the cramped living conditions saw to that. Everyone knew that she and Sam were more than just friends and co-workers. But she wasn’t ready to discuss their relationship with Chidi, or anyone else for that matter. It was too new. And possibly over for all she knew.

Sam had said nothing beyond a vague promise to come back. Not when or for how long. Nor had he made any mention of the possibility of Maggie coming to see him in New York. There had been no promises between them, no discussion of the future and where their relationship might be headed. They had so little quiet time together there had never been an opportunity to discuss any of those things. Never been time to tell him how she felt about him. She hadn’t been expecting him to be called home so soon and in his pell-mell hurry to get back home, she hadn’t been able to find the right time. And even though she knew it was unreasonable of her to expect Sam to know she was in love with him if she had never told him, Maggie couldn’t seem to shake the resentment she was feeling. His departure felt like a betrayal.

“We sure could have used his help today,” she said to Chidi. “Dr. Mendes can’t do this all alone and that new doctor still needs time to find his footing.”

“Find his footing?” Chidi looked at her quizzically. “What does that mean? How could he not know where his feet are?”

Maggie chuckled. Chidi’s English was extremely good, but every now and then a simple idiom would cause him confusion.

“Let’s go get something to drink and I’ll tell you.” Pushing her unsettling thoughts about Sam aside, Maggie linked arms with Chidi and walked across the compound, grateful for the distraction. Sam was gone and only time would tell if she would ever see him again.

***

Sam called his mother’s cell phone once again. Still no answer. He’d lost count of how many times he’d dialed her number since the plane touched down in New York. He even tried the house phone and his father’s cell to no avail. His fears of what the “emergency” his mother wrote to him about had grown exponentially with each unanswered call. Maybe this wasn’t another ploy to get him to come home like he first thought. However, he wouldn’t have gone all this way if he really thought that was true. This was his mother, for God’s sake. He couldn’t deny her cry for help. His mother definitely had a selfish streak, but he didn’t think she was capable of lying to him in such magnitude. Besides, he had already made it clear to both his parents that this was his life and he would decide if and/or when he would join his father in his practice. He thought he had finally gotten through to his mother, then again, he was sure his fierce stubbornness came from her genes.

He hailed a cab, telling the driver to step on it as he jumped in. He tried to think positive, pushing any dark thoughts from his mind. Already, the long and arduous plane ride from Chad had him teetering between his mother’s letter and how he left it with Maggie.

Oh Maggie. He had wanted to tell her everything – how much she had changed his life, how much he loved her, and how much he wanted to be with her when he returned. But for some reason he couldn’t get the words to come out. He looked into her haunting eyes and his tongue failed him. All he could manage was a promise that sounded more like a camp friend promising to write at the end of the summer. I’m such an idiot, he thought, and smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand.

The driver glanced back in his review mirror. “You okay there, buddy?” he asked, the question barely recognizable in his thick Indian accent. Sam nodded and made a mental note to tell Chidi just how much he appreciated his near flawless English.

Sam arrived at the mansion and immediately noticed a lack of usual household commotion. Even the gardeners weren’t about. He threw down his luggage at the base of the marble steps, just as Elaina, the housekeeper, opened the front door.

“Sammy!” she gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. He bounded the up the steps towards her as she launched into a frantic explanation in Spanish.

He grabbed ahold of her arms to calm her. “Elaina, what’s wrong? Where is Mom? In English, please!”

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Suddenly, her own eyes teared up.

“Jinny is at the hospital. She was hit by a car a week ago and the doctor say he couldn’t help her.” Elaina could barely finish the sentence without crying. She put her head into his shoulder and he patted her dark hair as he took in the news. A bittersweet relief washed over him.

Jinny was the family dog. Well, you could say she was his dog, considering the floppy golden retriever only came when he called her. She was fourteen years old and before he left for Chad she was still as rambunctious as ever.

“Is that where Mom and Dad are, Elaina?” he asked.

“Si, Sammy. Jinny is being sent to heaven.”

“They’re putting her to sleep?”

Elaina nodded.

“When did they go?”

Elaina looked at her watch. “It was some time ago, maybe two hours. I’m sure Jinny is with Him now,” she said, looking up and crossing herself.

Sam closed his eyes. Even if he had taken the Mercedes kept for the staff, he wouldn’t have made it to see Jinny one last time. Dr. Crenshaw’s office was clear across town. He said a silent prayer to himself.

In the grand scheme of things, this news wasn’t as decimating as what he had been expecting, but it still broke his heart. Jinny had been a good dog and a great friend all through his life. He loved her and he was upset he couldn’t let her know one more time before she passed.

“Let’s get your things inside, Sammy. Your parents will be glad to see you home during such a trying occasion. ”

Sam’s eyes flew open at her words and realization struck him.

It was too soon to come back.

Sure he missed his family and his friends, and Jinny, and he didn’t blame his mother for considering this an emergency. Jinny was considered part of the family. He wished he could have made it home earlier to have seen her one last time.

But there was someone else who needed him now. Or at least he hoped she did. He wanted her to become part of this family and he didn’t want to miss any opportunity to have her in his life, permanently. If he stayed here, Maggie might not be available when he finally came back.
“I can’t stay, Elaina,” he blurted out.

“But Sammy, you just got here! What about Jinny? What about your parents?”

“Jinny is the reason I can’t stay. It’s that wonderful dog that has inspired me to not waste any more time in being with the ones I love and telling them so. I need to go back to Chad.”

Elaina shook her head in disbelief as he gathered up his luggage and ran toward the garage for the car.

“What do I tell your parents?” she yelled after him.

“Tell them I love them..and that I’m sorry Jinny passed...and that I’m asking a woman to marry me!”

Maggie flopped herself onto the cot. It had been an incredibly long day with Dr. Mendes and now, even in darkness it was still 110 degrees. She found herself getting tired more easily in the last two weeks. Maybe it was her body telling her it was time to leave this place. She knew she was doing good things for these people, but if her heart wasn’t totally in it they would be better off with a brighter, more bushy-tailed grad student anxious to give it all they’ve got and the energy to do it.

She went through the motions of getting ready for bed – washing her face, brushing out her hair, and changing clothes. When she finally clicked off the lamp, she realized Chidi hadn’t come to see her.

Usually, Chidi would be around to talk before she went to sleep, but she hadn’t seen him all day. Keon mentioned he was picking someone up from the air field. She wondered who, since Chidi never held back any pertinent information – or any information for that matter. It just soured her mood even more. She didn’t want to admit that her mood, along with her body, had gone downhill since Sam left, but she couldn’t deny it any longer. She missed him. Really missed him. No matter what she tried to tell herself, her heart ached for his return. As futile as that dream seemed.

She turned over, trying to block out the sounds of the night – the chirping insects, the wind, the distant voices, the rolling of tires on gravel.

Chidi must have returned, she thought, and continued to try and sleep. Until footsteps approached her door and suddenly a voice came through the night.

“Maggie!” he whispered loudly. “Can I come in?”

She jumped up, somewhat groggily, yet knew what she heard.

“Sam?”

“Maggie. I need to talk to you!”

“Uh, yes! Come in,” she said, sitting on the edge of the cot, trying to sound calm. He came back!

And Sam barreled in nearly taking off the tent door as he pulled her up and into his arms. Before she could say a word, his mouth found hers and he kissed her deeply. Her arms came up and around his neck and she kissed him back with just as much ferver.

“Oh Jinny,” he moaned, and she pushed back, falling onto the cot below.

“Who’s Jinny?” she asked, somewhere between hurt and anger.

His eyes softened and he sat down next to her. He took her hand in his, though she thought about pulling it away.

“My dog,” he began, and she felt her eyebrow raise.

He laughed, and she realized how much she missed the sound.

“My dog died back in New York. That was the emergency.”

Maggie didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Me too. I just wish my mother would have been a little more detailed in her letter. Still, Jinny was a big part of my life and it’s sad to see her go. But Jinny didn’t pass without inspiring me to do something important.” He smiled and looked down at her hand in his. She followed his gaze.

“I missed you,” she said, before the moment passed.

“I missed you, too,” he said, “a lot.”

She swallowed. She guessed she didn’t know what response that would get her if she said it. Now, she wasn’t sure she was prepared for it.

“Maggie, I love you,” he said, bringing a hand up against her cheek. “You’ve changed my life for the better and..”He fished a box out of his other pocket and reached over to click on the lamp. “..I can’t bear the thought of not spending the rest of my life with you.”

His eyes glistened as he opened the box. The ring sparkled in the lamplight and she blinked back tears.

“Marry me, Maggie,” he said, pulling the ring out for her.

She suddenly realized what Sam meant regarding Jinny’s inspiration and she reached out for the ring.

“Oh Jinny,”she said, letting the tears fall down her cheeks. “I love you.”

“Wait, did you mean me..or Jinny?” he asked with a smile, his face wet.

She laughed and kissed him. “You! I love YOU, Sam! I want to marry you!”

“Okay, okay. I just wanted to be sure,” he replied, kissing her back.

“Did you want to tell the group?” Maggie asked, grabbing a shirt from her nightstand.

He put a hand on her arm and then clicked the lamp off.

“Let’s tell them in the morning,” Sam said, trailing kisses down her neck.

THE END

Quote of the Day: Writing comes more easily if you have something to say. ~Sholem Asch

alone with my thoughts

2009-05-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

I lay here on my old double bed as the light from the hot Vegas sun slowly drifts further and further down the length of the window, casting half-moon shadows over my new bedroom. My laptop is open and filling the room with the ambient sounds of a favorite iTunes radio station and I am reminded that this is good for me.

I realize if I didn't have the music playing I'd be tempted to fall asleep. I do a lot more of that these days. I've come to find that I sleep when I don't want to do something or if I'm bored. Being tired seems to be an unnecessary requirement. Yet right now, it could be the wine causing such deep relaxation. When I come home from work, a glass of wine or a bottle of beer helps set my mood. That and a dip in the pool and/or a soak in the jacuzzi.

I'm fairly settled in the new place. After a few kinks, I've managed to move my stuff in nicely - hoping to get a better system of organization down as I think of things or as the paychecks allow. I've been so focused on the bare necessities, like a working washer & dryer, fresh sheets, towels, bathroom essentials and kitchen appliances that I haven't had the time for much else. Writing has fallen by the wayside. Bills have to be paid, the pool serviced, and the rest of the house cleaned enough to where I feel comfortable putting my things away.

But back to this being good for me. It's been harder than I thought transitioning from never having a moment to myself to having every moment to myself. Four years is a long time and it's tough being alone with your own thoughts. I know there is always something I could be doing or writing, but it's almost like the motivation is completely sucked into this newfound emptiness, this void. It's a strange feeling. Not entirely bad, just strange.

I've already had my friend Doug come out from California to the spend a weekend and that was tons of fun. I find myself looking forward to those instances of interaction much more than I used to. I still have to go back to Rob's once a week to watch my TIVO'd shows. Once I get cable that will change, but it's nice to be with him and enjoy the company.

I'm not anxious to date right away, mostly because I think I need this awkward time. It's been a while since I've had it, jumping from relationship to relationship. I'd like to dwell in this alone time and hopefully use it to be productive in my endeavors. I've got a book to finish and much much more to write, damnit!

My first order of business is to finish Shae and Maura's story from our tag session. I'll be doing that this weekend. Then it's back to the original plan...(see previous posts).

Well, it's about time for my nightly soak. Then maybe some reading.

Yes, this is definitely good for me.

Quote of the Day: When you are describing,
A shape, or sound, or tint;
Don't state the matter plainly,
But put it in a hint;
And learn to look at all things,
With a sort of mental squint.
~Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll)

the ideal date

2009-04-05T18:13:00.000-07:00

For my writing exercise this week, I've been asked to write about my ideal date....

This is more difficult than one might think, because I'm not the kind of girl who has just ONE fantasy about the perfect date. Sometimes I have several and sometimes none at all. And when it really comes down to it, those fantasy dates change depending on the datee, the mood, what's available to do and the time of year. I've never been one to depend on a fantasy when it comes to real life. Because starting off with that ultimate perfection can only lead to disappointment in the long run. I'm the master of low expectations, remember??? I'll always have fun or at least find something fun about the date that way.

That said, I'll give you all an example of an ideal date I had with my most recent ex-boyfriend.

Rob and I met on the internet. I believe it was through Yahoo personals. I was fairly new to Vegas and didn't know many people, but I'd always had good luck with internet match-ups, so it wasn't a huge deal that I found someone worth meeting after a few emails and phone calls. We both had awkward schedules which made it hard to do the whole dinner and movie thing, and that was fine with me. I prefer the unusual to the norm.

It was late May, and warm, and the neon was already at full throttle when we met at a pool hall between our homes. We thought we'd have a couple drinks and play some pool. When we had arrived and gotten over the "thank god we both looked like our pictures or better phase" we found the pool hall closed. Time to go with the flow....

Not knowing what else was around, Rob suggested miniature golf. The course we went to is closed now, but coincidentally situated next door to Palace Station where I ended up working a year or so later. But that's another story. Back to mini golf. Mini golf is damn fun and even moreso on a date, where you can gauge how your partner handles stress, competition, and the general public. You can have a little fun too, seeing if you can distract your date enough to miss the shot ;-) Anyway, Rob and I both shared a huge soda and played two rounds of golf, enjoying every minute of it. It's easy to talk since the game isn't that involved, too. It was fairly late by the end of the games and Rob drove me back to my car in the parking lot of the pool hall.

Now I didn't want the date to end and apparently neither did he because after we both noticed the pool hall was open, Rob suggested we play a couple games. (We came to the realization that it was open before but the door to the place was on the side and it was dark inside, thus we assumed the place was closed, when in fact, we just were trying the wrong door. At least both of us were idiots.) We played some pool, had a few drinks and still didn't want the date to end, even though it was pushing 2am. Rob talked about a spot near the airport where we could lay in the back of his truck and watch the planes fly in, and I was all for that. I'd always watched those scenes in movies, but never had the chance to do it, so we drove out there. 3am in the beginning of of a Vegas summer watching the cargo planes above was amazing, and to my surprise, Rob didn't even make a move. Ha!

When the date finally came to an end back in the parking lot of the pool hall, we had spent nearly six hours together and after a quick make-out session, we made plans to see each other again. And here it is four years later, and we've barely been apart more than a week's time. Sad that it's come to a close, but I'll always remember our first date. It was the perfect date for us and when the times comes to date another....I hope we both have many more.

Quote of the Day: I asked Ring Lardner the other day how he writes his short stories, and he said he wrote a few widely separated words or phrases on a piece of paper and then went back and filled in the spaces. ~Harold Ross

P.S. I'm still working on my summaries and for my next exercise I will finish Shae and Maura's story tag. Wish me luck! And Godspeed!

I couldn't find the picture like Paul Rudd's below...but I'm working on it.

in summary, i'm behind

2009-03-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

I wasn't able to finish all my summaries last week, but I did get the BIG chapter summary finished, which is a load off. I'm still planning on completing the shorter summaries because I would really like Maura and Shae's advice, so no worries.

Thus, my goals haven't changed yet. I'll update them next week.

But to distract you from my shortcomings, I decided to post a sexy /funny picture of Paul Rudd. I think he's trying to do a parody of a famous photograph David Duchovny did a while back. I'll post the original next week to keep you all coming back. Well, the girls maybe ;-)
Quote of the Day: When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing. ~Enrique Jardiel Poncela

the storm

2009-03-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

Running with this random weather theme, my writing exercise for the week is to elaborate on the title above...

My favorite storms are the ones that seem to come out of nowhere. The ones that creep in silently, with only the warning of a gentle breeze, or a dark cloud in the middle of the sky, like an ink stain on a freshly washed shirt. These types of storms are rare out here in the West, but I can recall a number of them when I was back East. Yet my most memorable storm came from a visit down South, on the banks of the Mississippi River.

The night was balmy; normal for a humid summer there, and the lights of the riverboat casino shined bright on the water, as tacky as rhinestones on blue jeans, beckoning passerby's to try their luck at the tables or slot machines inside. For those of you who don't know, riverboat casinos aren't boats at all. They don't float. They are mere facades, built into the river floor, destined never to traverse the waters in which they sit. Quite sad, really. But I'm sure the people who board them know this and don't get as depressed as I do at the lack of movement. It was aboard one of these fake boats that a storm hit so suddenly that not until a bolt of lightning touched down to illuminate the water that I knew it was happening. The sight of lightning coming down from the sky is a breath-taking event in itself, but when it smacks down upon a body of water as big as the great Mississippi, it's mind-blowing. Nature at its best, and its worst. And any boat, real or fake, that stands in it way could be doomed to a nasty, firey demise.

The insane crack of a bolt of lightning, like that of a steel bull whip, makes most men stop in their tracks. It commands full attention, or fear. That night crowds gathered on the bows, watching in awe as nature, or since we were in the center of the Bible-Belt, as God, smote down his vengeance upon the world. The sky lit up with each jolt, like a long jagged firework, appearing across the water, then closer, then away, then in unison with another bolt, at different levels, different thicknesses, and different intensities of sound. Cracks, crashes, snaps, and the occasional buzz completed the night's music. Thunder, Lightning's brother, was absent for this purely electrical storm, taking a break while his sibling wreaked havoc, letting him gain a little respect from the heathens below.

And like most tantrums, the spectacle came to a slow end, Thunder grabbing his brother's hand saying "That's enough." Lightning rolled his eyes and finally agreed, putting away his toys of destruction. I stayed out on the bow after everyone went back inside. I continued to watch the sky. The clouds disbursed and the air settled again into its thick seat. The element of surprise is what amazes me the most about weather like that. But at that moment all I had wanted was that lightning to take out the posts beneath, so that this stagnant ship could set sail and explore a world which held such surprises as the one I had just witnessed. Yep sad, really.

Quote of the Day: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. ~Baltasar Gracián

the summary method

2009-03-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

For my first manuscript goal, I'm going to work on a technique from John Braine, a British novelist discussed in James Scott Bell's book, Revision & Self-Editing.

"Braine advocated writing a first draft as quickly as possible, to stay in the flow. No looking back. No pause for major changes. Then after some cooling off, produce a summary of the novel. A synopsis, but one that's subject to change. Because you're going to try to make it better and deeper. You may even change it significantly. The summary should be no more than 2,000 to 3,000 words, and you should produce several versions.

As described by Stephen Koch in The Modern Library's Writer's Workshop:

Tell yourself your emerging story again and again until you have, in capsule, a potent credible version that is propelling you into the new draft. If you like, summarize your first draft version in the first. Then try some other ways of telling it. Change the beginning, change the ending, shift points of view and perspectives. Keep each summary short and try never to devote more than a day's work to any one of them. You are not rewriting. You are summarizing; you are testing possibilities...Don't talk to yourself about the story: Tell it to yourself in this concentrated form. Don't indulge in fancy meditations on theme and do not theorize. But do include images and motifs and moments that you know drive the story forward...

If you produce several of these summaries, and finally fine-tune the best version, the method will give you a roadmap for an organic second draft."

I've been working on my huge chapter by chapter summary. I'd like to finish that and then delve into this. My goal by the end of this week is to have the chapter summary done and at least two summaries as discussed above. I'd like to have my accountability partners review the summaries and give me guidance, advice, or direction when it comes to the bulk of the story.

Wish me luck!

Quote of the Day: Writer's block is a disease for which there is no cure, only respite. ~Laurie Wordholt

wild is the wind

2009-03-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

The desert is a strange place. Its weather is either one of two things: Hot as hell, and dry. Or cold as fuck, and dry. There's rarely anything in between. We do get an intermittent spattering of random climate here and there, but that's usually forgotten as the next torrent of cold or hot comes through.

Today is one of those odd times when the consistency falters and the random reigns supreme. Today the wind blows. And I'm not talking gentle breezes. I'm talking "wind-advisory-please-stay-inside-or-get-a-two-by-four-to-the-face" kind of blast.

Outside the gusts rush through the trees and buildings like a massive wave; forcing leaves, trunks, telephone poles, dirt and rock to bend, coil, snap, and take flight under its powerful will. First in one direction...and then the other. Only brief interludes of reprieve where the foliage and wildlife sags, spent and tortured, limply awaiting the next blow. Above, the sky, a brilliant blue, seems oblivious to the brutality and violence below. But like puffs of factory smoke creeping in to pollute a passing daydream, the clouds move in.

Every once in a while I hear the sound of wood scraping glass, and it reminds me of a multitude of horror movies, where the little boy is huddled in bed under his covers, afraid of the monster outside, who is really a big old elm in their yard. I hear the unusual sound of metal clanging metal, and it reminds me of the bell on ships that signals danger, or maybe arrival. I would hate to be on a ship during wind like this. To be tossed about on the ocean, like some child's toy, holding on for dear life amidst the spray, praying to any god that would listen. My life would flash before my eyes as the waves crashed and flipped before me, threatening death underneath the watery depths. Then as suddenly as it happened, the wind would die down until it was eerily still. The boat would scarcely rock, the water flat and smooth, barely a ripple in its surface.

I would marvel at such a wild change in the weather, wonder which prayers worked, or if it was simply a natural coincidence. To be in dire straights, smack in the middle of chaos and within a few frantic heartbeats back in a moment of utter stillness; that's....wild.

And wild is the wind....

Quote of the Day: Every writer I know has trouble writing. ~Joseph Heller

on our way

2009-03-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

It's that time again. Getting back to business. The business of writing.

Maura, Shae, and I have embarked on another step in the journey to publication. We've all finished first drafts (though Shae deemed hers more fire worthy than anything else ;-)) and now we need to get these suckers revised and agent and/or editor ready. Maura has already done one round of revisions and in my honest opinion she doesn't have much further to go. Shae would just like to get back into the writing scene again. Me, I'm just the procrastinator of the century and a moody one at that.

The return to the writing scene is exactly what the focus of our next step is about. Writing for the sake of writing! Maura has been journaling, which is awesome, and Shae has been writing for the camera, and I have been...blogging. Sometimes. I've been slacking on my goals as my mood has fallen, I've let reality has seep into my creative side. Not good!

Thus, the plan is as follows....

1)Each week we will be posting one writing exercise that we have done from a source of our choosing on our blogs.

2)Each week we will complete one current manuscript goal until....well, for me, until I've sent it off to my prospective agents.

I'm excited and looking forward to working with my girls, as well as my characters, again :-)

Quote of the Day: When we see a natural style we are quite amazed and delighted, because we expected to see an author and find a man. ~Blaise Pascal, Pensées, 1670

where to start?

2009-03-08T16:49:00.000-07:00

First, the hair. What do ya think? I'm very pleased. Thanks Justine from Curl Up N' Dye!

Second, the new car. Yep, I bought a 2009 Toyota Yaris in beautiful black.

I love it almost as much as my hair. This came to me in my quest to lower my debt to income ratio. With this car, I have a slightly lower monthly payment, the car is in MY name and ONLY my name, I'll save on gas because of the sweet mileage, and I have a three year warranty that I didn't have before. I really liked my previous VW bug, but it was time to move ahead and make some serious choices about the future.

That said, I went to my NACA workshop concerning purchasing a home and found out how awesome their program is. Their goal is to get as many people into realistic, legitimate mortgages as possible. They require you to make goals about what you want and how you plan to get there, along with demonstrating how you will make it happen. That is the tough part. You have to have patience. Since, I want to get into a condo and get into it the right way, I'm willing to take the time. They say roughly three to six months. And though my living situation isn't the greatest, I'd rather make sure I'm set for the future once I'm out of here. I don't want to be in this position ever again!

Other than that, my cellulitis on the tattoo cleared up and its almost back to normal skin. I can't wait to get the next two!

My writing has been put on the backburner in all this car and home mess, but my schedule is starting to clear up and I'm aching to get back into it. I'm hoping to get out to RWA's conference and push the novel, like Maura is going to do. I noticed in the RWA magazine, that its possible to get a scholarship by writing in. I may just do that. Then I'll only have to worry about airfare and lodging. We'll see. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Honestly, I hope to have the novel done in the next couple of months, and ready for an agent. Obviously, my January goal sheet is on my mind, but hey, things happen and goals can be rearranged. :-)

Quote of the Day: Let me walk through the fields of paper
touching with my wand
dry stems and stunted
butterflies....
~Denise Levertov, "A Walk through the Notebooks"

gothic revival

2009-02-23T18:38:00.000-08:00

And I don't mean architecture.

It's time for a change and I decided to start with my hair. I usually do something different with my locks once a year, so I'm going with a funky emo / goth cut in shiny black. I think I've had my hair every color at one time or another, but never black. I guess I figured I'd look too washed out with my pale skin. Now I keep thinking the contrast would be awesome and it would force me to add a little color to my lips, eyes and cheeks, and stop being lazy!

Here are my inspiration shots....

I found a website for this amazing salon here in Vegas called Curl Up N Dye. Kinda cute, huh? All their stylists are tatted up, pierced, and have really funky hair, so I figure I'll be in good hands.

Other than that I've been trying to re-establish my goth roots with some new clothes and jewelery. I never go overboard with all that, but when done subtly it suits me. Also, there's a Cure concert coming up that I'd like to go to. How cliche is that?

I'll make sure to post some pictures after the hair is "did."

Oh and listen to my playlist song, Black No. 1 to get you in the proper goth mood.

Quote of the Day: Every great writer is a writer of history, let him treat on almost any subject he may. ~Walter Savage Landor, Imaginary Conversation: Diogenes and Plato

infections and condos and workouts, oh my!

2009-02-22T13:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy couple of weeks.

After the newness of the tattoo had worn off (and it had gone into scabbing over and drying out phase - the icky part of the process no one really tells you about) I began to focus on two things: 1)Getting out of this crowded house and 2)putting my all-over health plan into effect.

I looked at a couple apartments in the neighborhood of my job and quickly found out that it would be impossible for me to get an apartment of my own. The rents here are from $600 to $800 for a one-bedroom and $900 plus for a two bedroom. The one bedroom is out. I can't afford it. The two bedroom would work with a roommate, but I'm nervous about having someone new live with me. Then, I found out that I couldn't get a two bedroom in my name anyway, because they want you to make some ungodly amount more than the rent. Soooo.....I researched more options. Either move in to an already established household with a room for rent (thus opening up the whole fear of roommates thing again) or buy something.

Now, I am the last person who I know who I would think could buy and own a home. I make very little, have a lot of debt, and have little savings for a down payment. Low and behold, the magic of low income, community programs for people like me. At Station Casinos we have a program that works with HFN (Housing for Nevada) where they help you with the financial obligations (down payment, appliances, etc.) and counsel you with the rest of what goes on with purchasing and owning a home successfully. I got the application and did some more research. For my purposes, this would be my last resort, because it MUST be owner occupied and then when you decide to sell, HFN gets first dibs on buying it back and making it available for other program participants. That's fine but it is unclear if any profit is made when you sell and that scares me, defeating the purpose of investing in property to begin with!

My boyfriend's best friend (who's a realtor) gave me the name of his mortgage guy and I met with him. He told me my debt to income was too high and that he couldn't help me. I wasn't really discouraged because he was honest, but luckily I know there is another option. NACA, Neighborhood Assistance Corp of America, is similar to HFN, but even more involved and, according to a lender friend of mine, one of the best deals around right now. NACA helps you with the down payment, gives you a low fixed mortgage rate, is more "character based" when it comes to your credit score, and has more lenient restrictions when it comes to debt to income ratios. They counsel you throughout the entire time you own your home and encourage you to participate in their program to help other low income people purchase homes. They require you attend a workshop and then one-on-one appointment. I'm kinda excited. If this ends up working out, I could own a condo here in Vegas and have a $400 dollar mortgage payment. Doesn't make a lot of sense to rent, when a mortgage is less expensive and works more to your advantage in your financial future, does it? My workshop is on Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes.

As far as the health plan, I cut out certain foods, bulk up on the healthier foods, eat more often, and have smaller portions. Also, I started working out with weights and doing 25 minutes of cardio a day. Two days of the week I do 45 minutes of cardio. Let me tell you. I was sore, but I found I was sleeping better and wasn't tired throughout the day like I used to be. I had energy and looked forward to coming home from work, working out and taking a hot shower. I'm happy with my results so far.

The last of my news is unfortunate. Friday my tattoo is mega itchy and bright red. I don't think much of it because it's at the tail end of the healing phase. At work, I show it to my boss and she says it doesn't look right and to ask. I ask a woman who has tattoos and she says it doesn't look right, that its infected, and to put ointment on it. I call my tattoo place and they tell me I won't die and it will go away. I'm okay with that until I get home and pull out my trusty laptop. I look up people with infected tattoos and my symptoms are similar. Bright red, the skin is hot to the touch, itchy, and swelling. My ankle below the tat is swelling up too. Online they have mixed pieces of advice. Some say it will go away on its own, others say go to doctor immediately to get antibiotics. I call my insurances 24 hour hotline and the nurse says go to the doctor, even though they are more worried that the tattoo artist wasn't reputable and they gave me Hepatitis or Tetanus. But I watched the artist go through her motions and everything was either brand spanking new out of the bag or heavily sterilized. I was worried that something on my hands or under my nails got into my wound and infected my blood in a bad way. I needed to see a doctor for piece of mind.

I did not want to go to Urgent Care. I didn't want to spend my Friday night waiting around for hours for a doctor to look at it and hand over antibiotics. Urgent Care is for emergencies, not infected tattoos. So even though my insurance didn't cover it, I headed over to the nearest Walgreens Take Care Clinic. I had never been but thought I'd try it, even without them taking my insurance. I'm glad I did. With no one in line, I checked in within 2 minutes on the computer and the nurse took me right in. She asked me some questions, looked at it, and knew exactly what it was, Cellulitis, and how to treat it. She told me what to expect, how to deal and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. My prescription was free and on Wednesday she said to stop by and she'd let me know if I needed to keep taking the antibiotics. $60 was worth the hours I would have waited at Urgent Care. It's getting better, but still looks wicked and I want to scratch it right off sometimes! I love the design sooo much though. Even the doctor commented how cool it was! :-)

Other than that, I lugged my book out to work on the edits. I haven't been doing much on it, but I've been reading. I thought I'd expand my horizons and read a mystery. Sue Grafton's Kinsey Millhone Series, A is for Alibi. So far I'm enjoying it. Very succinct writing, but amazing descriptions. Millhone is a straight-laced, tough-talking detective, yet she knows people so well.
Here's one of her best....

I cleaned my place, did laundry, went to the supermarket, and had a nice visit in the afternoon with my landlord, who was sunning himself in the backyard. For a man of eighty-one, Henry Pitts has an amazing set of legs. He also has a wonderful beaky nose, a thin aristocratic face, shocking white hair, and eyes that are periwinkle blue. The overall effect is very sexy, electric, and the photographs I've seen of him in his youth don't even compare. At twenty and thirty and forty, Henry's face seems too full, too unformed. As the decades pass, the pictures begin to reveal a man growing lean and fierce, until now he seems totally concentrated, like a basic stock boiled down to a rich elixir.

This is what makes me want to write.

Quote of the Day: When a man is in doubt about this or that in his writing, it will often guide him if he asks himself how it will tell a hundred years hence. ~Samuel Butler

sometimes its just funny

2009-02-10T22:43:00.000-08:00

the start of a beautiful friendship....

2009-02-08T17:36:00.000-08:00

..between me and my tattoo...Though I was a wreck for most of the day leading up to it, barely eating any of my breakfast at Dennys and fighting the urge to run over to 7-11 for some liquid courage, I made it through, and with flying colors..well, red and black colors.

It was definitely the anticipation of what was to come that made me so nervous. Because when it came down to it, it really wasn't that bad. I was there with my boyfriend, my co-worker Angie, and her sis-in-law, Debbie. Debbie went first, getting a heart with her husband of 20 years' name on her arm. She made it look like it was nothing. She almost fell asleep in the chair!

When my turn came, Anji, the tattoo artist, said I'd be fine. She was super nice and told me all about how she got started, including how she met her husband, Ryan, who was the guy doing tattoos in the booth next door. I always want to know how people meet. Anyway, she tested a small line and I was like, "That's it?!" She continued.. and yes, there were parts that hurt more than others, but it wasn't unbearable. As Shae mentioned, it's better than being in the dentist's chair. I kept talking while Anji was working and before I knew it, I was done. The entire process took about 45 mintues.

For those that can't see it too well, it's a black tribal-esque quill with a rose entwined around it. The ink drops that are coming from the tip are red, symbolizing blood..my blood. How every word that comes from my pen is a part of me, like my blood, like my soul.

I can see how people would get addicted to this stuff. I'm already planning what I'm going to get next and when. Luckily, the price keeps me grounded in reality. All in all, it was a great experience. And now it can be slashed from the list. Another resolution resolved!

Quote of the Day: It seems to me that those songs that have been any good, I have nothing much to do with the writing of them. The words have just crawled down my sleeve and come out on the page. ~Joan Baez

got ink?

2009-02-04T19:39:00.001-08:00

Saturday I will be able to cross another item off my New Years Resolutions list.

"Get a tattoo."

As I mentioned before, the tat was something I wanted for my 30th birthday. I never got around to it. So when my coworker made an appointment for me (after I went on and on about wanting one) I said, why the hell not? If that's the kick in the pants I needed, than so be it. I found an absolutely awesome design that's not only nice to look at, but really means something to me. You don't think I'd just get something off the cuff. I've been thinking about the design for a while, but when I saw it about a week ago, I knew it was the one.

And so the nervousness begins. I hate pain. See the post concerning my horrid dental experience for proof. I've heard many different things about the pain of getting a tattoo, from it feels like your skin is being ripped off to the irritation of a scratchy sun burn. It all depends on your personal tolerance of pain and where on your body you're getting it. Mine will be on my right calf, down near the ankle, but still in the fleshy part. The more flesh the better, or so I'm told. I'm hoping I'll be able to take it and not look like a wuss. The artist said it would take about an hour. As long as I don't kick anyone I'll be fine. I'll also have my boyfriend, my coworker Angie, and her sister in law (who's also getting her first tattoo) there for support.

Aside from the nervousness, I'm excited! This is a big milestone and I can't wait to show all of you my new tattoo once it's all healed and beautiful.

Pictures to come.... Wish me luck and bravery!

Quote of the Day: Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Graycie Harmon

leaving las vegas......not

2009-02-02T17:55:00.001-08:00

Being a grown up really does suck.

Most of you know I planned on moving back East this spring. That's just not going to happen. I was telling my best friend, Ariana, that five years ago I wouldn't have thought twice about it. I would have jumped in my car, made a few phone calls and been across the country in a week setting my life up. But now, I have things to think about.

Where would I work during these tough economic times? Where would I live? Would my car make it? Are there attractive men in New England? ;-)

I have a good job that's fairly secure with health benefits and a 401K. I've finally managed to stay at this place long enough to get vacation time and a skill set. I'm confident in my abilities and I like my boss. That's tough to drop when so much is uncertain. But as I say this, I can't put my heart in it because really, if I had the money, I wouldn't bat an eyelash. I love starting over. I love adventure and exploring places unknown. Most of all I love my best friend and I miss her terribly.

Anyway, I'm planning to try again in a year, hoping the economy will be in a better position. And if I can get a book sold in the meantime, I will definitely be in the right mind set to take flight. That said, I need to get out the boyfriend's place. His ex and daughter are still here and it doesn't look like they are going anywhere soon. I'm looking at apartments closer to my work and will use my tax return to put something down for March. That will be another big change, but I'm ready. It won't be fun making the official break from the boyfriend, but again, I can't keep putting off the inevitable. I need to move forward and it will be better for both of us in the long run.

Stay tuned for a surprise for tomorrow's blog.....

Quote of the Day: Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. ~Flannery O'Connor

my worse dental experience EVER!

2009-01-24T13:10:00.000-08:00

First let me supply a disclaimer: Though my good friend, Shae, was the one who recommended this particular dentist to me, I in no way blame her or have any ill will towards her. This has nothing to do with her!

I made an appointment for X-rays and an exam with Dr. Ponce at Las Vegas Oral Surgery on Thursday morning at 8am. I was really excited and a bit frightened because I haven't been to the dentist in years and now that I am insured I was gung-ho about getting my teeth taken care of.

My boyfriend came with me because I had asked if the dentist did sedation dentistry and the receptionist said yes, so I wasn't sure if anything was to be done that day, and if I'd need a ride home. He doesn't have to be at work until 11:15 so I knew it would be fine.

Thus, the morning began walking into the waiting room, at 7:50, which reeeked of cigarette smoke. My bf made a comment, but I figured the old man who was there may have been a smoker and I'm used to that sort of thing in Vegas. It was kind of odd to have it THAT strong in a nearly deserted medical waiting room that early in the morning, but I thought nothing of it (I had other things on my mind) as I filled out my paperwork.

I was taken back at 8am by a very friendly lady with a Spanish accent, who asked me how I was doing, and I explained how nervous I was and she said not to worry and they were here to help me. Then she took me to get an X-ray, where you stand up in this huge machine and bite on a stick, holding onto these bars. It takes a full picture of all your teeth in one long line. It took a while just to get this done because I wasn't activated on the computer yet and the lady had to wait and wait, until it was done.

Then she took me into my room and I laid down and watched Good Morning America. I never saw the first lady again. About a half hour later, some guy came in and asked me who I was as he checked the computer, and then asked me if I had my x-rays done. I said yes, but then he realized I hadn't gotten ALL of them done and he seemed irritated. He quickly took a bunch, shoving this rubber film in my mouth, until he finished. Then he left. I still have no idea who he was, since he never introduced himself to me.

About 15 minutes later, the same guy came back with an African-American woman dressed in a lab coat. She situated herself behind me, never introducing herself to me, and she stuck that sharp pointy scraper in my mouth testing for cavities. Luckily she didn't hurt me. She was yelling out numbers for each tooth and the guy was recording them on the computer. They finished and the woman told me someone would come in and tell me what they wanted to do and how much it would cost. Then they left.

Another 15 minutes passed when another African American woman came in and (yay!) introduced herself to me. She told me I had six cavities, and the doctor (who I hadn't met yet), wanted to do silver on top, white fillings on the bottom. Fine. I was actually relieved now, because the real doctor (that I had made my appointment with) had looked at my x-rays and was going to be working on me! I then asked about the sedation part, and the woman looked at me like I was crazy. Thanks for making me feel like a big baby. She said I probably wouldn't want to do it because it was $680 per hour, and I'd need someone to drive me home, etc. She then said the entire process of filling the cavities and the cleaning would take a half hour, so it would be pointless. I asked if it would hurt and she said hold on and she went to check. When she came back she said they could give me "laughing gas" and it would be bearable and my entire cost would be $150. I agreed since I wanted to get it over with.

I glanced at the clock when the woman left and it was 9:20am. I laid down and waited for the doctor. They first guy came back a few minutes later and said he was moving me to another room. I used the restroom and he prepped the room.

Time was ticking and no doctor. Finally, at 10am, the first guy and the African-American woman with the lab coat came back. So I'm guessing they are going to be doing the fillings and cleaning, not Dr. Ponce. Interesting. They got situated and the guy gave me oxygen first. It became apparent that he didn't know how much "laughing gas" to give me and the woman had to inform him and quite unprofessionally, right in front of me. Great. My confidence in their experience and abilities was declining.

The woman sat behind me and just started rubbing my gums with numbing gel without telling me what she was doing. Luckily the "laughing gas" took off the fear aspect, but it left me feeling upset that she was going to stab me with the novocain needle and not tell me. She did and repeatedly. The pain wasn't bad, but I was peeved.

Then they left. The clock on the TV read 10:15am. My mouth was completely numb within 5 minutes. As time ticked by panic struck. Again, luckily the "laughing gas" prevented me from jumping up and screaming that they better hurry up because soon I wouldn't be numb anymore. My mind started racing, but I tried to convince myself that these were professionals and they knew how long the novocain would last and not to worry. My eyes teared up with how upset I was when I looked at the clock at it read 11am. I was upset beyond words that my boyfriend was out there not knowing what was going on and was going to have to call in and be late for work. I was even more upset that when the African American woman with the lab coat came back in she didn't apologize. She commented on something on the TV and said she was going to have to do this alone. Great. Just what I wanted to hear.

She drilled my right side, then started on the lower left. She hit a nerve. Thus, the novocain had worn off. Big surprise! She said the lower was done anyway and started to drill the upper left. Another nerve! She gave me yet another poke with a needle. No apology. The other dude appeared and helped her with the fill of the right and lower left. Twice dropping filling material down my throat making me gag and spit up. I said I was swallowing something and all she said was, "oh it's just the material". Is that all?? Then she yelled at me to get my tongue out of the way or she wouldn't be able to finish. But my whole mouth was numb; I had no idea what my tongue was doing and there wasn't any way I could control it! The guy had to hold my tongue back, which is the only humorous part of the story.

They finally finished with the fillings (and now as I run my tongue over my teeth there are some huge divets that I don't believe belong there). After they turn off the light and sit me up, they realize they haven't done a cleaning and look at each other and shrug. I ask them pathetically with my swollen mouth and numb face if I can do the cleaning some other time because my boyfriend has to go to work. The time: 11:30am.

The guy escorts me out to the front desk and I make an appointment for Sat, knowing full well I won't ever be coming back to this horrid place again. I begin to cry as I leave with my boyfriend, horrified by my treatment, how long it took, and how incompetent the people who worked on me were. My boyfriend mentioned that he could tell how unorganized they were just by how the staff handled the people in the waiting room. He said he wouldn't go back either.

So, by noon...my face looks like I've gone three rounds with Layla Ali because of the novocain, and how much I cried. I spent 4 hours at the dentist, for something that should have taken at most, an hour, with substandard treatment and without even a cleaning. Plus, the dentist I made an appointment with didn't even work on me, or even have the decency to introduce herself to me.

I'm sorely disappointed. No wonder people don't go to the dentist. As a new patient, there on a recommendation, which I noted on the paperwork and when I made the appointment, I had a higher expectation of how I should have been treated. For one, as a nervous person, I should have been consulted by the doctor herself. Two, whoever comes into the room to work with me should introduce themselves. Three, the staff should be competant and confidant and FRIENDLY! Four, no matter what the staff performs they should tell me exactly what they are doing and why. Five, they should do it in an appropriate time frame. Four hours for what they did to me is inexcusable.

This has been the worst dental experience of my life, and I've had some doozies. Heck, I had braces, and the pain accompanied with that! But this had nothing to do with pain. It has everything to do with trust and good old-fashioned courteousness. No one cared about me, or what I felt while I was there. No one even asked me! The sad part is, I put my trust in them and my hard earned money. I was ready to spend a lot of money with these people if I liked them. I wanted to get my teeth whitened AND invisalign, which isn't cheap. But now, I didn't even call to cancel the appointment I had with them today. They wasted my time, why not waste a little of theirs.

Now I feel ANY dentist (even Steve Martin from Little Shop of Horrors) would be better than Las Vegas Oral Surgery. I'm also submitting a complaint to the Better Business Bureau and my insurance company. People shouldn't have to go through what I did.

Quote of the Day: Be obscure clearly. ~E.B. White

regency kick

2009-01-18T21:03:00.000-08:00

Upon finishing After The Kiss by Suzanne Enoch, my mind began racing with an idea I've had before, concerning a series that would most likely fall into the category of historical romance set in the Regency Era. I know these books wouldn't be Regencies, because honestly, I like my love scenes...

And I like em' intense!

Regencies tend to leave out those more detailed scenes and end with an embrace or kiss.
So...like I normally do when bludgeoned by an idea, I start reading everything in my power revolving around it.

After the Kiss was very well-written and a great story, but something about it just didn't excite me like I know some novels can. The plot was realistic and not over the top like some historicals can be, it had plenty of love scenes, developed characters.. I really can't put my finger on any one thing that made reading it anything but enjoyable. It just lacked...something.

But, it did remind me of the idea I mentioned above and made me dig in my notebooks to find it and jot down more notes.

In my TBR pile, I had a Georgette Heyer novel, and though I was supposed to start New Moon as soon as I finished After the Kiss (sorry Ariana), I couldn't help picking up A Lady of Quality and dive in. Three days later, I am reminded how amazing Georgette Heyer is as a writer and storyteller.

Her dialogue is masterful, especially with all the slang, terms and grammar of the Regency period. Her wit is unparallel, her characters fierce and her plots traditional, yet timeless. The only complaint I had was the tendency to head-hop, making the writing lose pace. Other than that, I remember why it can be important to research if you plan to write a novel. It makes it sooo much better!

And there was only kissing and embracing. I didn't really miss it, since I knew what I was getting into, but personally I wouldn't be able to write a novel without more....

Now, I'm almost done with Valerie King's A Country Flirtation, which I wasn't quite sure I would like because it started out pretty cheesy. Now, I'm really enjoying it and will probably finish it tonight.

I posted a couple requests for recommendations on the romance message boards and checked out the authors given. I was a little disappointed with the plots of a lot of them. I'm not a fan of the woman seducing the man, or of the rake who seduces a woman for her fortune then falls in love. Overdone! I'm looking for something original, but then, that's why I'm writing my own series, right? Still, I was able to find a couple that looked good, from author's like Elizabeth Boyle, Liz Carlyle, and Barbara Metzger.

Anyway, I'm looking for suggestions. Shae, you are the queen of Regency and historical romance, help me out here!

Otherwise, I finished notes for "Plot & Structure" by Bell and will provide them for anyone who would like them. Now onto the next...

Quote of the Day: Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable. ~Francis Bacon

the only 12 1/2 writing rules you'll ever need

2009-01-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

courtesy of knowledge unlimited, inc. 2004

Quote of the Day: No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. ~Henry Brooks Adams, The Education of Henry Adams, 1907

specific writing goals for 2009

2009-01-10T12:47:00.000-08:00

REVISED January 2, 2009

Writing Goals for 2008

1) Complete first single title novel (100,000 words) – Tentative Title: COT by November 30, 2008 and submit to an agent.

a) Finish first draft by October 15, 2008 (1000 words per day) Finished first draft

2) Complete one category romance (50,000 words) by December 31, 2008 and submit to publisher or agent.

a) Characters done by August 31, 2008.
b) Plot done by September 10, 2008.
c) Outline done by September 15, 2008.
d) First draft done by November 15, 2008 (800 words per day) Finished first draft

3) Begin character and plot for second single title novel in series (100,000 words) - Tentative Title: TRT before end of the year. Did not complete this

a) Prepare synopsis.

Writing Goals for 2009

1) Complete COT by February 28, 2009.

a) Revise first draft by February 1, 2009.
b) Prepare synopsis and synopsis of other two novels in series for agents.

2) Complete TRT by April 31, 2009.

a) Finish first draft by March 31, 2009.

3) Complete first category romance (50,000 words) by February 28, 2009.

4) Complete third single title novel in series (100,000 words) – Tentative Title: WAED by June 31, 2009.

a) Prepare synopsis after character and plot work.

5) Complete second category romance (50,000 words) by April 30, 2009.

6) Complete fourth single title novel (100,000 words; new series or stand alone) by August 30, 2009.

7) Complete third category romance (50,000 words) by October 31, 2009.

8) Complete fifth single title novel (100,000 words) by November 30, 2009.

9) Complete fourth category romance (50,000 words) by December 31, 2009.

NINE BOOKS BY 2010!!! WOOHOO!!!

Quote of the Day: Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
~William Safire, "Great Rules of Writing"

dreaming big part II

2009-01-09T18:10:00.000-08:00

Now where were we. I left off on Resolution #13...

13) Get a tattoo.
-This was one of my resolutions from 2007 that never came to fruition. I planned on getting a tattoo when I turned 30. I am 31, going on 32 and I NEED one. I have a couple ideas for what I want and where, but the big issue is that I'm a huge chicken when it comes to pain. I've probably mentioned this before. Isn't it ironic that the sexiest places to get a tattoo are also the most sensitive? Anyhoo, I've got a couple recommendations for artists and one day when I'm feeling brave I'll go for it.

14) Get finances in order.
-One problem with finding yourself by going to a variety of expensive schools is the extensive debt you accumulate from loans. These loans, if paid according to their schedule, will haunt me until 2027. I really don't want that. I want to pay off my credit card debt and tackle these loans with a more aggressive payment. To do this, I need to set up a budget and maximize what comes in and where it goes. I also need to start putting aside some money for the move to New England in the spring, which is a goal further down the list.

15) Take more photographs.
-I hate pictures of myself for the most part. But time is a passing, and I always think back to that Baz Luhrmann song, Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen, "in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked…" So just in case, I want to take more pictures - of me, of my friends, of my adventures - and if I could scrapbook them, even better.

16) Move to New England in the spring.
-Some of you probably know of my intention to move to Rhode Island. I visited my best friend, Ariana, who lives in Newport, last summer and realized how much I like it there and how much I miss her. I'm sick of Las Vegas and need someplace new to call home, if at least for a while. Newport's beautiful coast and small town feel really made me think how much I'd like to live there. The hard part is saving up some money for the move, and the hardest part will be finding a new job in this recession. I'm currently exploring my options. If I want it bad enough, I can make it happen. :-)

17) Travel
-This probably won't be happening this year with the move and all, but once settled back East, my mission is to get to Europe. Hopefully, I'll come back once I get there.

So those are my resolutions.

As for the updates on my writing: I'm reading two writing books and taking notes, while summarizing my novel chapter by chapter, to analyze my plot for holes and such. Once that's done, I may show the plot to a few people to get their opinion about the flow and intensity level, then I'll dig in to the specific revisions.

Oh and I made an appointment with Shae's dentist! Thank you, Shae, for recommending her. I have my initial exam and x-rays on January 22. Wish me luck! Now, to conquer the doctor.

Quote of the Day: For me, a page of good prose is where one hears the rain [and] the noise of battle. ~John Cheever

dreaming big....

2009-01-04T17:38:00.000-08:00

It's 2009 and when I set out to do something, I do it up right. I dream big. Sure, I don't always complete every one of my goals / resolutions, but the dream is still there.

I posted my resolutions on a website called 43 Things. (Yes, another social networking site to add to my never-ending list.) I added them down below on the right side, but I'll elaborate on them here.

1) Publish at least 3 novels this year.
-Technically, I'm behind from the original goal plan I set out for this, but I'm not disappointed with what I have accomplished so far. I revised the plan which I'll post next for your review. I'm still moving forward and that's what matters most to me right now. This resolution ties in with my ultimate goal of writing fiction for a living.

2) Go to the doctor.
- I'm ashamed to say I haven't been to see a doctor in a while. Before, the excuse was that I didn't have insurance. Now, (for the last two years) I've had insurance, and the excuse is that I'm just a big, lazy chicken. It needs to be done and I should be exploiting my insurance while I still can. No more excuses. I'm making an appointment this week.

3) Go to the dentist.
- I can't even say the word "dentist" without a grimace. I haven't been to the.....dentist, for years. Again, with the lack of insurance, but also because my teeth are just genetically hella bad. And not visually bad (like I'm missing five, and three are black). I have always had problems with waning enamel and exposed nerves. Combined with receding gums, every visit to the dentist, no matter how gentle they are, results in excruciating pain. Luckily, I rarely had cavities when I was younger. I did have braces, but that's a whole other painful animal. Also, I know that it will cost me tons, even with my insurance, because there's a lot to be done in there AND I NEED to be sedated the entire time, which means more mula. I guess I have to bite the bullet, so to speak, and get crackin'. This week an appointment will be made.

4) Learn one language a year.
-This goal was made hoping to hit two birds, or three, with one stone.
One, it will broaden my horizons.
Two, it will help me indirectly with English (considering the comparisons you automatically make regarding grammar and vocabulary.)
Three, it's research for my novels -heh, heh ;-)

The language I'm choosing for this year is Welsh. Mostly because I already have the book and the CDs and have dabbled in it. My next trilogy I am writing is a time-travel spanning from 1000 AD to today set in Wales. So it would help me greatly, even if I'm not fluent by the end of the year. Knowing the basics - hearty vocab, a couple neat sayings, and a few fun curse words - would be nice.

5) Get rid of things I don't need.
- My friend and fellow blogger, Maura, turned me on to this. "31 in 31" or getting rid of one item per day for the 31 days on January, and heck, maybe longer if need be. So far, I have gotten rid of 3 pairs of panties, 2 pairs of jeans, one pair of shoes, and 4 books. I'm definitely ahead of the game. Woohoo! This will help me declutter and prepare myself for moving in the Spring.

6) Follow an exercise program.
-I bought yet another exercise program. Yeah, motivation for me to get in shape comes in spending gratuitous amounts of money. But this one is simple and hip and includes some extra tips for keeping the feminine look as you slim and tone, rather than bulking up and losing all that luscious female form. It's a fitness and bikini model's routine and program. I like it and it inspires me. I WILL succeed! Will be posting my hideous "before" photo soon......maybe...if I have the courage to show myself in skimpy clothing....ugh.

One day I'll look like Jennifer Nicole Lee....but much paler. ;-)

7) Eat better.
-Continuing with the health resolutions, I plan to ditch the junk food, but indulge in cravings every so often. Eat smaller portions every 2-3 hours and only have soda once a week. Those portions will include protein, fiber, and something green.

8) Drink more water.

9) Drink more wine.
-OK, not to get drunk. Red wine is good with its antioxidants AND it's a passion I've let fall by the wayside. Did you know I went to culinary school for six months and excelled in the wine tasting classes as well as food pairing? They say I have a good palette. For a while I thought about becoming a sommelier and passed the first stage of testing to become just that. I then realized that a sommelier is just a glorified cocktail waitress. (I'm cringing, knowing I'm ruining my chances getting friendly with any of them. Oh well..) I love wine and I the history and science involved with wine. I plan to buy one bottle a week and write down tasting notes in my wine journal. Who knows? Maybe some freelance writing work will come of it.

10) Take care of my skin.
- The other day I looked in the mirror and grimaced. No, not at my pale, frumpy body, but at my face! My eyes seemed sunken, small, and puffy, and my skin was oily, caking my make-up and emphasizing my huge pores! I never had to worry much about my skin, even with my birthmark (I'll go into this later). I mean, I had to stay out of the sun due to my genetically pale and prone to cancer skin. And regardless of the numerous scars from doctors attempts to keep me cancer-free, my skin stayed soft and clear. I guess 31 hit me finally and instead of washing with regular soap and never moisturizing, I need to bring on the maintenance. I bought Carmindy's book, Get Positively Beautiful and I love it. Carmindy is the make-over queen from What Not To Wear, and I really dig her simple beauty regimine. So I'm following some of her techniques, which also tie into my next resolution.
11) Learn to use make-up to my advantage.
- Until this year, make-up and I have had a practical relationship. I hate it, but its a necessity to cover my birthmark. I have a port winestain (meaning strawberry colored) birthmark that covers my chin and a portion of my left cheek. I've managed to get through a difficult childhood and deal with it, even after failed laser surgery attempts and...a lot of make-up. I have to wear foundation and powder every day. I won't go outside without it. But it's routine now. I never used anything else - except a little lipstick to give my pale face a little color. So this aging thing sucks in more ways than one. And I've been experimenting with make-up to help enhance my beauty rather than cover it up. Carmindy's less is more style and tips are great, especially the ones that let me get out the door after five minutes of application and still look like a million bucks.

12) Save up for laser hair removal.
-Another perk of growing old...MORE HAIR! They've come a long way with these lasers and I want to get it done. It costs a pretty penny, so I'm hoping to get it done by the end of the year.

I'm going to end here for now. I have about 8 more to go, but this is already becoming a book. Speaking of....I think I'll go read.

Quote of the Day: It seems to me that the problem with diaries, and the reason that most of them are so boring, is that every day we vacillate between examining our hangnails and speculating on cosmic order. ~Ann Beattie, Picturing Will, 1989

closet optimist

2008-12-25T15:32:00.000-08:00

First, Merry Freakin' Christmas everyone!

It's been a strange year. For those of you who know my current situation - complete with the two extra roommates and the nearly three year relationship slowly coming to its inevitable end - I'm sure you understand why I'm a little blue this Christmas.

I've stayed much longer in Las Vegas than I initially planned, but life happens and priorities change. There are things I wanted to be, to do, to have done by this time in my 31 (sigh) years. But....I hate to complain. Especially when I see all the homeless on the streets and the people who can't afford gifts for their children during the holiday season. I have a job, a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and the ability to pay my bills. Thems' the basics. And I'm glad about all that.

I'm also the proud writer of two novels (sorry, its still hard to believe myself).

Most people see me as a realist with pessimistic tendencies. But those people don't really know me. I portray that image to help me deal with the crap in the world. Because if you expect the worst you are pleasantly surprised when you get the opposite! Ta Da! It makes it easier to take all the heartache, grief, and pain that life can dish out.

I guess I think I'm special...in some strange way. As a kid, I didn't mind sleeping near the door or window at a sleepover when my friends were afraid of the boogeyman getting them. Because when that crazy killer would come in ready to murder me, he'd take one look at my young self and fall in love and whisk me away to his castle. (You see he was actually a prince under a nasty spell and I broke it with my aura). And you all wonder why I decided to write romance????? ;-)

I always believed I had something different, something unique. Alas, I grew up and realized the truth, but there is still a hint of that belief that refuses to be squashed by real life. That special something defines me as a closet optimist. Behind everything that goes awry in my life, there is hope. Hope that things will take a turn for the best rather than the worse.

Still, I have a soft spot for the worse. I mean, it builds character, it gives you comedic material, and it makes for a much better story. The writer in me just can't be denied.

So the next time things look shitty, know the book of your life needed some conflict, and in the end its going to fly off the shelves the more drama it entails. I firmly disagree with saving the drama for your mama. Share it with your readers. They'll thank you for it! Just keep your fingers crossed for a happy ending.

Quote of the day: Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it. ~Hannah Arendt

the morning after

2008-12-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

Beautiful, isn't it? The morning after our big snow day (ok big for us at 8" in the southern parts of Las Vegas) you would think we lived in the mountains or something. The day was altogether eerie with sludge piles of snow in the streets and in peoples' yards and the sun illuminating the mountains and hills surrounding us, showing off their thick shiny new coats of bright white snow.

This is what my house looked like in the morning.....

I know, nothing major, but an unusual sight for me.

My boyfriend covered the West side on his way to work and I took a couple of pics on my way down south into Henderson. Then I snapped a few from Sunset Station's garage out into the valley.

Here is what I came up with. Enjoy!

The Day After the Big Snow in Las Vegas 2008

Quote of the Day: I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. ~English Professor (Name Unknown), Ohio University

the city of sin has frozen over....

2008-12-20T14:52:00.000-08:00

I've finally had a couple days to get over it, but it still is amazing. It snowed in Vegas. And I don't mean some measely little flakes (although that's what it began as). I'm talking blizzard, baby!

Las Vegans don't really take snow too seriously. Because when we hear that it's a possibility we think a few chunks of ice and rain for an hour max and that's it. But no, that's not what we got on Wednesday.

Let me break down my day.

Wednesday morning: Butt cold, but I layered up and wore a nice scarf and gloves.

Wednesday afternoon 1pm: Snow begins to fall. People at work are freaking out. But there really isn't much snow sticking to the ground just yet. I'm not worried.

2pm: The snow continues to fall and starts to get thicker. I hear it's supposed to stop by 4pm when I leave, so I'm still not worried.

3pm: The snow is coming down hard and fast and blanketing the ground. For some reason, I'm still not worried, just amazed. I take this picture outside the employee entrance with my phone.

4pm: The snow has covered most of Sunset Station and it's already dark. I get in my VW bug and realize I have to get gas before I make the 26 mile drive home. Doh!

4:15pm: Upon leaving Sunset Station's garage the streets are covered in snow and slush. I'm driving super slow and head to the gas station across the street. At one point I press the brakes and they lock. Freaking out begins.

4:30pm: I wonder if the snow has made me super sensitive and maybe it was a one time deal and that the brakes are adjusting. I decide to get gas regardless and take it easy.

4:45pm: Find out the gas station's satellite has gone out and it is cash only. After sludging my way to the register it's a Christmas miracle that I have ten dollars on me in this electronic day and age. I snap more pictures for those who don't believe that I am truly trapped in a Thomas Kinkade painting.
4:46pm: Try to leave the parking lot and press the brakes. They lock and I slide. I commence with more freaking out and decide to park at Best Buy and go in to get warm, and possibly buy a DVD. Ya never know.

5pm: Call the boyfriend and act scared and helpless so that he'll come pick me up. It works and I wait, secretly hoping my car might be busted and I won't have to go to work tomorrow.

6pm: Boyfriend arrives and plays around with my car, seeming to have more fun skidding around a snowy parking lot with limited brakes that I would. I don't understand men. He can't figure out what's wrong but says he'll be able to drive it home in the slow lane and I'll follow in his car. I'm worried, but take some pictures to calm me down.
7pm: We arrive home after driving through three sections of greater Las Vegas. Each one has different inclement weather. South-blizzard, West/Downtown-rainstorm, North-snowstorm... My back is in knots, but I'm home and relieved. Our neighborhood looks like we should have horse-drawn sleighs and snowball wars, rather than cars and errant teenagers. I take a couple pics of our front and back yard (which reminds me of some lost land).
That was the bulk of my day. Henderson (where I work) received 8" of snow and the rest received 2". They declared a snow day for schools the following day and I took more pictures in the morning, but here is the Luxor. Who ever thought we'd see the pyramids covered in snow? I know I probably sound like I'm overreacting, especially considering many of my friends live back East and laugh at me for freaking out, but hey, this is Vegas, the last time we got this much snow was in 1974!
I'll post the day after pictures tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm off to recoup. I think the weather made me sick. Ugh.

Quote of the Day: A writer and nothing else: a man alone in a room with the English language, trying to get human feelings right. ~John K. Hutchens, New York Herald Tribune, 10 September 1961

the wrap up

2008-12-07T16:42:00.000-08:00

Christmas isn't quite here yet, but on the horizon of a new year I thought I would get a head start on wrapping up 2008.

October - finished the first draft of my FIRST (yes, I said FIRST) novel and did a dance of joy, survived layoffs at the casino I work for, had my boyfriend's ex wife and daughter move in with us, had dinner with an ex-boyfriend who told me I was one of the smartest women he ever went out with (you know it!), spent Halloween preparing for NaNoWriMo.

November - began writing my SECOND novel for NaNoWriMo, continued to write like fiend, went to visit my family in Southern CA for Thanksgiving (got fat), survived more layoffs at the casino I work for, finished my SECOND novel for NaNoWriMo with 8,000 words on the last day.

December - went back to revising my FIRST novel and getting prepared for Christmas.

I won't be going home for Christmas Eve or Day, but we'll be heading to Southern CA the weekend after.

Let me take a minute though to talk about my experience with NaNoWriMo. I didn't think I'd be able to do it. I mean, it took me over three months to write just over 80,000 on the first novel, but then I didn't really give myself a deadline and I knew I would take my sweet time. I've finally decided to call myself a writer and you know what? We procrastinate. It's inevitable. Armed with that information, NaNoWriMo got me to understand that giving yourself an end all deadline would kick that procrastination in the butt, at least for a few days. It also showed that if need be, I can write 8000 words in a day. I don't recommend that and it's not fun by any means, but it's doable. My comfort zone seemed to be 1000 to 2000 a day. But what helped was the support from others in the same boat. Fellow Nanoers, Maura, Shae, and Noreen, helped push me onward. Being able to see what they were doing gave me the necessary shove to get my words up and if any of them were behind, I made sure to let them know they were doing great and to keep it up. I was proud of them all and I was so happy we all could make it there together.

I can now say I have officially written TWO novels in the year of 2008. My biggest accomplishment yet. OK, maybe second to my four year degree in History, but damn close.

I'll save my New Years Resolutions for a later post, but you'll be sure to find more writing on the top of it.

Quote of the Day: To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make. ~Truman Capote, McCall's, November 1967

can I sleep now?

2008-11-30T23:23:00.000-08:00

I've pillaged. I've plundered. And I'm done.

I'm not sure how. I think I've lost feeling in my left pinky finger and rubbed the "n" permanently off my keyboard. But I've finished with a grand total of 50406 words.

I'm dead tired and I have to work tomorrow. Can I sleep now?

Quote of the Day: Writing, I think, is not apart from living. Writing is a kind of double living. The writer experiences everything twice. Once in reality and once in that mirror which waits always before or behind. ~Catherine Drinker Bowen, Atlantic, December 1957

knee deep in NANOness

2008-11-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

I apologize to the three, possible four people that follow my blog. The end of October and the beginning of November have been massive months for everything, including a conglomeration of projects.

Halloween marked a scary day. I began the initial read through of the first draft of my novel. It was tough to let it sit for about a month without looking at it and changing bits and pieces. I thought about my story a lot though, and kept an "After Notes" document open for things that popped into my head that I wanted to add, take away, or research. After I finished my NANO words for the day on 10/31 (because I knew Nov. 1 I would be working all day for EOM) I printed out my newly formatted manuscript, all 390 pages of it, and snapped open a fresh red pen. And so it began.. I'm only about 60 pages into it and let's just say there is probably more red on the page than black. Needless to say, I made copious notes, and lines and comments and questions and stars and underlines. It's actually kind of fun. I feel like a teacher, giving the student tons of feedback. It's overwhelming to know what I will come back to once the first read-through is complete, but I'm just trying to take it one step at a time.

I bought two books, From First Draft to Finished Novel, by Karen Wiesner, a sequel to her first book, First Draft in 30 Days, and Revision & Self-Editing by James Scott Bell. Karen's books are wonderful. I even have a novel outlined with her program, ready to be written, but I held off on that one because it's a time-travel and I wanted to begin with a more contemporary romantic suspense for my debut. See, I've got this all planned out! ;-P Anyway, I know Karen, with her more anal style and organization techniques, will get me to a final product. And Mr. Bell, I loved his book on Plot & Structure, so I could only assume anything he did for the Write Great Fiction series would be top notch.

Other than that, I'm about 11,000 words into my NANOWRIMO project. For those of you who've never heard of such a thing, it's National Novel Writing Month. Which happens to be November. Chris Baty began this thing a while back in San Francisco, where people get together and write like crazy to say they have written a 50,000 word novel. I'm sure there's a lot more to it. You can check it out a the website and maybe participate next year! I had heard of it before, but it seems to be gaining more and more popularity. I say power to everyone who is willing to try! And for those who succeed, you are one step ahead of many people who call themselves writers! Keep it going!

I'm working on my mechanic/financial analyst category romance and it's coming along nicely. I already had the plot set to go, but NANO really helps get your characters and creative license moving. It'll be tough in a couple weeks when Thanksgiving comes around and then EOM AGAIN for me. But I'm gonna try my darndest to make that 50,000 mark. Shae is already calling for a write-a-thon. I'm always game.

So let's do this!

Quote of the Day: A critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

two mormons walk into a bar....

2008-10-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

I wanted to applaud my friend Shae for a fine performance last Saturday night at the Looney Bin. Shae completely held her own wedged between the funny, yet geriatric host and the ever so eloquent headliner, Bill Tucker.

The crowd may have been sparse, but they were quite the handful. I guess 10 o'clock shows in Summerlin bring out the meager drunks. From the old cackling New Yorker, who I swore could have been my boyfriend's mom, to the young African American guy convinced he was a victim of racial profiling, the night was anything but dull.

The hecklers seemed to give Shae a break during her set (Thank God!) Though it would have been fun to see Shae give it back to them.

All in all even without my whiskey sour with a beer chaser the night would have been a success. Each comedian had some great material and a positive presence. Shae was hip, witty, and funny. What more could you ask for?

.....and one asks the bartender, "Where's my wife?" And the bartender says, "Which one?"

Quote of the Day: Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

disappointment reigns at the p.o.

2008-10-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

It is my firm belief that the Post Office is where the dregs of society gather to discuss their plan to annoy the world....and all while talking on their bluetooth headsets.

I had to make a trip to the Post Office the other day to pick up the new mailbox keys and I remembered why I do all I can to avoid the place entirely. And it's not because of the people that work at the Post Office, though I've heard those horror stories, it's the people that I am fortunate enough to wait in line with while there:

The chatty housewife - who has to tell me and everyone else everything that is going on with their five children (who happen to be running around the place causing mayhem), their best friend's cheating husband, and their mother who is recuperating from a broken hip. And no, she's not talking directly to me or anyone in the room; she's talking to whoever on her bluetooth headset, looking like an absolute lunatic, because she's just sooo busy that this conversation couldn't wait the five minutes she has to stand in line. Oh, and did I mention, that she couldn't possibly stop her conversation even while the mail clerk was helping her mail a letter. Is it me, or is there nothing more rude than talking to someone on the cell phone and ignoring the person right in front of you, there to do a service for you? Are people that inconsiderate and self-absorbed that they can't stop for two minutes and give ONE person their undivided attention?

The go go go business man - who grumbles and sighs over every person that takes more than ten seconds to be helped or asks a question of the mail clerk, pushing his wait time out a whole extra five seconds. Oh and he's on his bluetooth, too, yelling expletives to the other person on the line, who hasn't sold his stock in time, or isn't giving him the price he wants on one-of-a-kind glass blown figurine. He's mega important and he wants everyone else to know.

The elderly woman - who complains about the price of a stamp, or a mailing box, telling everyone how much it was when she was our age and how the quality of services and items has diminished to a mere nothing. She usually takes about a half an hour to get a letter to her grandson mailed, while the grandson probably won't even read the letter, shaking the envelope out to see if she sent any money. Oh and she's not on a bluetooth, only because she refuses to try any of the new fangled technology available to make peoples' lives easier. She's important and she wants everyone else to know, but at least she tells you directly to your face.

The oblivious twenty-something guy - who's wearing his "Fuck You You Fucking Fuck" t-shirt in a public place, that's not a biker bar or Mardi Gra. He's wearing his bluetooth headset, but no one's calling him, but soon. He's passing the time in line listening to EVERY ring tone on his cell phone at full volume, including rap songs with explicit lyrics almost as bad, but more descriptive than the ones on his t-shirt. He's got a tatoo on his neck that says "Mom" and I wonder how proud she really is of him and his uncaring attitude.

Anyway, these are the dregs...I'm sure there are many more I'm forgetting, but none of these are made up, though I wish they were.

I'm hoping I'm not alone in the thinking that some people need a class in self-awareness or an attitude adjustment. I think we all should be required to take at least a refresher course once a year. Cell phone and bluetooth headsets prohibited.

Quote of the Day: I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. ~Peter De Vries

moving blues

2008-10-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend bought a home in Northern Las Vegas and we just moved in last weekend. Personally, I don't own tons of stuff - mostly books and lots of them (much to the chagrin of my boyfriend, his brother, and friends who had to carry bin after bin of them). But, be damned if we filled a whole 24 foot truck and still had to make a couple trips in our cars to get the remaining junk.

It's been a trying week to say the least. We have two cats and the trip in the car was hellacious. Then when we arrived, everyone and their mothers, AND their mass of screaming kids came over. The house was in shambles and my kitten was traumatized. I may have been a little traumatized, too. The rest of the week we spent unpacking. I had end of month woes at work and was dead tired, so unpacking was not exactly what I wanted to do when I came home. And since we hadn't gone shopping yet, we had nothing to eat in the house. If I have to eat another taco from Taco Bell, I may expire.

Oh and did I forget to mention my parents are in town and want to come over. No pressure or anything! They are coming by tomorrow, so today was spent cleaning and continuing to unpack. At least the fridge is finally full and there's beer. That makes me happy.

We had some artists come by before we moved in and draw these lovely pictures on the window. This one probably looks just like a grimey window but I tried to get up closer.

Look real close. It's hard to tell. Follow the black outline.

Yep. It's a big humongous dick. And it's really not drawn very well or to any flattering scale.

How ironic, that whoever drew this was trying to deter people from buying this house (if it was the original owners because it was happened to be a forclosed property). If it was done by random vandals, they must have hoped they would offend someone.

Offend me? A romance novelist. One who tends towards the more erotic in her love scenes. Nice try! I believe I convinced my boyfriend to keep it around longer than I should have. But I found it comical and oddly comforting. :-) When we finally went to clean it off, it was disappointing to know that it was done in dry erase marker. Pitiful!

Anyway, I have to get back to making this place look presentable. And of course, in a week and a half we get our new roommates. Sigh.

Where's that beer??!

Quote of the Day: If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster. ~Isaac Asimov

i'm done!

2008-10-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

I've finished the first draft of my novel! I'm about ready to scream! I might scare the new neighbors though, so I'll just use a profuse amount of exclamation points. That's how real writers scream.

I wrote the words THE END last night, 10/02/08, at 11:36pm. My final word count came in at 88,101. I was initially hoping for 100,000 words, but this is just how the plot flowed. I'm sure, with revisions and additional scenes that will be added, I'll be closer to that number.

So now that I've completed the first BIG step, I feel good. But to tell you the truth, I'm feeling a little awkward. I'm all out of whack! I had to remind myself when I came home from work today that I don't need to open up my first draft and write. My hands automatically guided the cursor to that file, ready to click and begin. It's strange.

I guess I'm still in a state of disbelief. I'm anxious to move forward, now that it's done, but I know I have to sit on it for a while before I jump in to revisions. This is harder than I thought it would be. Now, I see what you meant, Maura!

I'm early on finishing this draft according to my goal sheet, but I am behind on the category romance I should be writing. This helps that "need to write" habit. And blogging does, too. I want to get back to more blogs, but with everything that's been going on this last week, I've been beat. I'll begin that saga in my next blog.

Oh and maybe I can get some reading done! If anything, I'm sure I'll sleep well tonight :-)

grand total: 88101 AND COMPLETE!

Quote of the Day: I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. ~James Michener

jerry springer here I come!

2008-09-23T22:45:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how just when your life begins to get into a nice groove, something comes along and throws it right off track? Actually, it's only funny if you have the ability to stand back and look at it from behind. For those knee deep in it, it's a whole different story.

Here's the deal. My boyfriend's ex-wife and daughter are moving in with us. Yes, they will be living in our small two bedroom home. This situation may have worked on TV shows like Friends, but for me it just screams Jerry Springer. Granted, we all still have our teeth, none of us are strippers, and my boyfriend's daughter (who's 12) isn't pregnant, but who knows what could happen in the three months we gave his ex to stay here. My boyfriend is extremely generous at times, and in this case, he is a saint. But mostly, he's concerned about his daughter living in a dangerous environment back in CA with his ex and her pyschotic mother, so I understand his decision.

And I'm proud of myself. Because the first thing that came to mind when I was informed of this was not "Holy Crap, this is absolute insanity and I'm going to kill myself," but "Where will I write?" I'm used to coming home after work to an empty, quiet house with three hours to rest, relax, and write like a fiend. A recent RWA Chapter meeting at a local library got me thinkin' if there is one thing I've come to admire about Las Vegas it's the fantastic library system. There are at least ten libraries here that are amazing. After some research, I was able to locate one right on my route home from work. So, I know where I'll be with my laptop when the work day is over. I think it will be good for, too. Sure, there will be tons of books to distract me, but at least I won't be lured by TV, food, or heaven forbid....chores.

Anyway, I'm kinda looking forward to this new writing environment. And I'm glad I immediately looked for ways to get around this curve-ball that life threw at me in order to keep writing. It's proof that I'm committed and that I'm not letting go of my dreams no matter how many twists and turns life chooses to send me on.

I'm holding on tight, baby!

grand total: 80007

Quote of the Day: When once the itch of literature comes over a man, nothing can cure it but the scratching of a pen. But if you have not a pen, I suppose you must scratch any way you can. ~Samuel Lover, Handy Andy, 1842

layin' down some phat words

2008-09-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are my Facebook buddies, this title will resonate, for those of you who aren't, I've been writing like a fiend for the last two weeks, trying to keep up with my goal of 30,000 words by the end of September. This goal is for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and the Unleash Your Story project from my last post. Also, I've been plotting a category romance that I relayed to you all in an earlier post as well (the one with the sexy mechanic). I've been keeping busy to say the least.

So far, I'm keepin' it real with 72243 words (my total words for my main wip), just shy of the mark I should be by this Monday. I'm proud of that and of the fact that I'm rounding the corner to the last stretch of my first draft. I mean, this is where it gets exciting, because I know exactly what is going to happen and what I need to do and write to make it to the end.

I've definitely had some help along the way, thanks to the support of Maura and Shae, and some great workshops and books. Most recently, I'm in the midst of another KOD (Kiss of Death) chapter class on plotting a romantic suspense with Tracy Montoya. It's been great, and Tracy is awesome.

Plus, one of the books on my current reading list is Page After Page by Heather Sellers. Heather is wonderful with motivation and has really helped me whenever I'm just not in the mood to write. She's witty, unique and refreshingly down to earth for an English professor. Some of my favorite chapters are titled: Sleeping With Books; Butt in Chair; Blank and Cranky; and the best one of them all - Dare to Suck. I can't wait to finish this novel and begin Chapter After Chapter, her second book in this series.

And what better way to end this than with some humor. What kind of romance novelists are we if we can't make fun of ourselves and what we write about. PLEASE, check out this link and click on "Who's Sebastian" on the left of the site it takes you to laugh out loud at the Airborne commercial. You won't regret it!

grand total: 72243

Quote of the Day: A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose. ~Samuel McChord Crothers, "Every Man's Natural Desire to Be Somebody Else," The Dame School of Experience, 1920

unleash your story

2008-08-31T12:37:00.000-07:00

For all you writers out there who need a little more motivation to get your word goals in, I suggest participating in Unleash Your Story for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. For the month of September you set a word count goal (or book goal, if you'd just like to read) and if possible, put down some money for a good cause. There are also prizes, like critiques from agents and editors! So not only are you getting your story written, you've got incentive once you reach your goal! I see it as a win win situation here.

Debbie Macomber is the pace-setter at 30K words for the month and I'm going to join her in that goal. It's starts tomorrow, so click on the link and register right away. You can join a team or do it individually. I'm going solo on this one, but I hope some of you decide to write right along with me! If you don't want to register, donate to my cause through the same link below. Every little bit helps!

Support my efforts!

grand total: 61244

Quote of the Day: A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer. ~Karl Kraus

we have a winner

2008-08-26T20:53:00.000-07:00

May I have the envelope please?..And the winner is ::::drumroll:::::

John Corbett (insert conglomeration of sighs and shivers)

If you recall from my last post when I revealed my idea for a CR with a down on her luck finance exec and her childhood friend turned sexy mechanic, I hoped to find a more accurate depiction of my hero.

Not saying that the man below, in all his grease laden nakedness, isn't the stuff dreams are made of, male or female dreams that is, but he wasn't exactly what I picture in my head.

John Corbett is.

Prompted by catching John on My Big Fat Greek Wedding the other night, my hero materialized before my eyes. Mr. Corbett appears down to earth, rugged and easy-going with the ability to clean up, throw on a suit or tux, and still ooze sexiness.

He's cute, with a hint of mischievousness in his eyes and smile. He's not overly (or underly) built, and well, I'm a sucker for a guy with longer, shaggy locks.

So enjoy these images. And know he's the one I have in mind as I write my next novel.

grand total: 59089

Quote of the Day: Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. ~Author Unknown

back in business

2008-08-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

Turning 31 wasn't nearly as bad as 30, but aging still sucks in my book. So I took this week to re-group and re-energize; get myself prepped and ready to head back out into the world and "git r done."

I took a free online workshop entitled "How to Write 50 Books in a Year." I know it sounds absolutely insane and a little unbelievable, but its not really the number that's important here, it's how you go about it. What these two sisters, Elle James and Delilah Devlin, (both romance novelists), teach is mostly organization, time management, and motivation. And really, everyone needs some of that, while I need a lot of it. And not just once. I need to kick myself into gear at least four times a year, with mini-kicks in between. One of the big lessons taught was to make clear and detailed goals for yourself, starting huge and funneling down into specifics. That's what I did.

My main goal is to have 10 books written by the end of 2009, five single-title novels of roughly 100,000 words each, and five category romance novels of roughly 50,000 words each. I'm sure it sounds like a massive goal, but it's doable. I planned it all out, even giving myself some leeway in between. And the trick is, even if I only get 9 books by the end of 2009. That's still 9 more than I have now!

For my current novel, I'm back to the 1000 words a day goal until I reach 100,000 words. And I began the planning stages for my first category romance as well. I've already began fleshing out the characters with Holly Lisle's Create a Character Clinic. She's absolutely amazing. Check her out through the link on my Favorite Shops link on the right. I bought her Clinic bundle which includes, Create a Language, Create a Character, Create a Culture, and Create a Plot. They really are detailed and inexpensive for all you get.

Do you remember I mentioned that when I went home last weekend, I had an idea for a new novel? Well, I decided to formulate this idea as a category romance that I'd like to push toward the Harlequin Blaze line (though I've heard rumors that Blaze may be on the chopping block soon). Blaze is basically contemporary with more steamy love scenes than a typical category.

The gist of my CR (category romance) pertains to a woman who has it all; a successful career in finance; a wealthy and respected fiance; a beautiful home; and a busy social calendar. That is until she turns down a scandalous proposition from a sought after investor, and is promptly fired. Her fiance is mortified by the news of her unemployment and dumps her, leaving her without a place to live, or any real friends. Blacklisted by her former company, she has no choice but to go back to her home town and stay with her parents until she can figure out what she wants to do. But going home means she's thrust back into the neighborhood where everyone knows your name...and your business. And then there's the boy next door, who's all grown up and more man than she ever hoped to handle. Soon, she begins to wonder why she ever left at all.

Whatcha think? The picture is the best I could find of a sexy mechanic, which is the profession of my hero, but he doesn't really resemble the dude in the picture at all. If any of my readers can find a nice hot mechanic pic, I'd be grateful.

Have a wonderful weekend and catch you next time.

grand total: 56029

Quote of the Day: The story I am writing exists, written in absolutely perfect fashion, some place, in the air. All I must do is find it, and copy it. ~Jules Renard, "Diary," February 1895

home coming

2008-08-18T21:36:00.000-07:00

I spent this last weekend in California; attending a 50th birthday party for one of my cousins. Since it was held at my parents' place and my birthday is - ack - in a day, they did a lot of celebrating for all involved.

Now this is my Dad's side of the family - definitely the more crazy of the two sides. Which is why I like them so much. Even though they all claim I'm not related to them because I'm tall and thin - while they are short and stocky - they still have the ability to remind me why family rocks.

1) They can drink like fishes, or at least they used to. Being of Scottish decent, we have no choice but to drink. But unfortunately, they ended up letting the drinking get the better of them and now more than half are in AA. Sigh.

2) They are natural comedians. This is where I get the bulk of my sense of humor. I've never met such a group of wise guys and smart asses in my life. And I've hung out backstage at comedy clubs!

3) They are mostly liberal and opinionated. I'm used to hearing the conservative side from the curmudgeons at work that blast Fox news and talk about their church functions. It's refreshing to hear educated people talk smack about the right-wingers.

4) They like to eat. A lot.

5) Half are homosexual. I can live any of my burgeoning alternative lifestyles vicariously through them if need be.

6) They're huggers. There is just something to be said about people who gotta hug. It's warm. It's cuddly. It's nice.

I had a great time seeing them all and I hope we can get together again soon. I even got an idea for a story out of it, but I'll save that for next time.

grand total: 55080

Quote of the Day: The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. ~Mark Twain

muse online writers conference and more....

2008-08-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Meandering through my list of online groups I came across something I thought I'd share with all the writers out there.

The Muse Online Writers Conference will be the one of the first of its kind: an online conference for writers that is absolutely free! I want to say upfront that I have no affiliation with this conference, I just stumbled upon it and thought it was a wonderful idea, especially for writers who cannot attend the rather expensive and distant conferences around the U.S.

Beginning October 13 and running through October 19, participants will have access to a whole slew of workshops, lectures and information, from a ton of presenters. The presenters range from authors of all genres, to specialists, motivational speakers and people from the publishing industry. Even Las Vegas' own Lynn Crain, member of our local RWA Chapter, Cactus Rose, is presenting. Her lectures on erotic romance are loads of fun and helpful.

I recommend registering for this conference, even if there is just ONE piece of information you get from it. I mean, it's free. I wandered through their site and was really impressed with everything they have there. Registration ends September 1, so get moving to the link provided.

With that said, I also wanted to give you a glimpse of a dream I had that turned into a novel idea. I was watching Fear Itself the other day (kind of a neat show, a combination of Amazing Stories & Twilight Zone, with a little Stephen King thrown in), and the protagonist was a young dark haired guy that looked somewhat familiar. He had a very Christopher Reeves-esque look. Then I thought, "Hey maybe he played Superman in one of the series?" Come to find out he played Superman in Superman Returns.

That night I had a dream about Superman, aka Brandon Routh. The details of the dream were sketchy, but let me just say, it was a romance novella in itself. Heh Heh... Upon waking, I began tweaking the dream into a workable idea for a novel.

What if a young man meets the woman of his dreams, sharing an amazing, fun-filled evening with her and finds out the next day that she died three days prior?

I'm sure something similar has been done before, but I am anything if not unique when it comes to twisting the norm. That's a different story for a different time. It's early enough that I can do some writing on my wip today.

grand total: 51587

Quote of the Day: A metaphor is like a simile. ~Author Unknown

an evening with suzanne enoch and teresa medeiros

2008-08-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

Yestereve, I had the pleasure of listening to two remarkable and amazingly down to earth writers share some advice and insight about the maddening world of authorship. The small, intimate event took place at the Clark County Library…a rather huge place closer to the East side of Vegas, an area I rarely venture out to. Just so you all know, locals hardly ever cross the Strip…except when you have out of town guests. Suzanne and Teresa have written loads of books, including historical, contemporary, paranormal and one western thrown in. I’d actually never read anything by either of them until fellow writer and blogger, Shae, invited me to the event a few weeks prior. I immediately picked up Suzanne Enoch’s After the Kiss and took it on vacation with me. So far it’s great. It’s a historical done in the Regency period and very well written; tons of detail and fun dialogue. I’m almost finished with it as we speak. I wanted to get Teresa Medeiros' most current novel, Some Like It Wicked, but it wasn’t coming out until July 29, so I just waited to purchase it at the event. I can’t wait to get started on that one, too.

These ladies were extremely polite and funny to boot. They began with their reasons for becoming writers and staying writers, then progressed into chit chat about their traveling adventures, most notably their time in Las Vegas. The floor was then opened for questions from the fans. They were gracious enough to answer everything we could think of, from their research and writing habits, to the specifics of certain books. It was an interesting, informational and enjoyable night. We were all invited to chat one on one with each author and get our books signed. I’m proud to say my books are now signed and that much more special!

It gives me support in my own writing to hear these women talk openly about their writing experiences, especially when they jokingly offered their rough drafts for perusal to make us feel better about ours. That makes me feel good. It gives me hope, that even seasoned writers rough drafts are, as Nora Roberts so eloquently put it, basically vomit on paper. I want to thank Suzanne Enoch and Theresa Medeiros for sharing their time with us and Clark County Library for putting them on their schedule.

And a special thanks to Shae for the invite!

grand total: 50653

Quote of the Day: Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space. ~Orson Scott Card

rhodey for a week

2008-08-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

I’d like to say I’m glad to be back in the city of desert and debauchery….but I can’t. If you’ve been a loyal follower of my blog you might have noticed my absence, if not, I’ve been away….frolicking in a far, foreign land..called Rhode Island. My best friend, Ariana, moved there a while ago (maybe 7 years?) to go to law school at Roger Williams. Not only is it a great school, but she got a scholarship. You simply cannot refuse free money for education.

So I spent roughly 7 days enjoying a couple of the finest parts of the East coast. Ariana lives in Newport, RI, an island of lush greenery and beautiful harbors. She's an attorney for the state's legal services devision and can literally walk to work. If she has a case, she hops next door to the court. Isn't that amazing!? As a guest there in mid-summer, I was part of a larger crowd of tourists who flock from all over to enjoy the warmth and sunshine amidst the salty ocean air. Of course, my first couple of days there it rained cats and dogs, but I didn't mind. Living in a desert, I hadn't felt rain in ages.

Ariana and I packed in a hell of a lot of stuff in my seven days, despite her working in the mornings. Most of my days began waking up late, getting dressed and sauntering along the main street, Thames. Here were a throng of shops selling everything from souvenirs to ship parts. Admiring the colonial architecture and the homey feel of the beach town, I'd eventually hit the corner Starbucks for a soy latte before I'd meet Ariana at her office in Washington Square. How quaint.

Then we'd plan our day depending on the weather. We were able to drive through along the ostentatious Ocean Drive, breath in the sea air along Cliff Walk, tour two historic and magnificent mansions along Bellevue, visit the informational Newport Historical Museum, explore Rose Island and its cute lighthouse, go boating with friends at dusk in the harbor, take a road trip to Cape Cod's city of glass, Sandwich, watch the fireworks at Mashpee, ponder at Edward Gorey's house, and tromp around General Nathaniel Greene's homestead in Coventry. Are you tired yet?

It was beyond fun and I realized how much I missed my best friend! I love the area and am seriously thinking of moving there next year. I could live there for a year and then go for my Master's Degree in History at the University of Rhode Island. Then, I could study for a couple months at a time in England, since my concentration would be Regency England.

Anyway, that's one dream. The other is finishing my novel ASAP! I'm getting there and plan to kick it into gear this month. I'm officially aging this month and I hate it. Finishing my novel would be a great birthday gift to myself. It's back to business as usual.

I also started an online class this month through the KOD, RWA's suspense/thriller chapter that I joined. The class is taught by Angela Knight (a great writer) and is how to put the heat into your romantic suspense. It's a subject I'd like to know more about and I think Angela is just the person to help me out.

Still to come this month is the continuation of my gothic reviews and some reviews on romance websites.

Yay! It's great to be back blogging!

grand total: 50653

Quote of the Day: Ink and paper are sometimes passionate lovers, oftentimes brother and sister, and occasionally mortal enemies. ~Emme Woodhull-Bäche

call of the wild

2008-07-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like three days of camping to make one appreciate the finer things in life -mainly refrigerators, air conditioning, hot showers, and flushing toilets.

We made it back from Mt. Charleston a couple hours ago and it feels good. Two nights roughing it in the wilderness, with tents, five kids, and tons of junk food may sound like a dream, but it can get rather exhausting. ;-)

I enjoy camping more than the typical OC grown Cali girl and not only to prevent me from taking certain things like the ones mentioned above for granted, but because I really do like nature. It's humbling. It's beautiful. And it's simple...in a mysteriously complex way. It has the ability to clear my mind and fill it with wonder in one awe-inspiring moment. And it's more real than anything else in the universe.

So as a salute to camping, I've written a list inspired by this most recent experience.

TEN THINGS I LEARNED WHILE CAMPING

1) Bug spray is a scam.

2) Hamburgers and hot dogs are best charred to a crisp.

3) Just because there are flushing toilets, doesn't mean they will.

4) If you want kids to learn to respect and love nature, leave the video games and TV at home.

5) Showers are for sissies.

6) Rain is only bad when your tent has a leak or you have to go to the bathroom.

7) Firewood at a campground works like cigarettes at prison.

8) Smores are worth every negative moment.

9) Cell phones are useless.

10) Reading a book is 10 times better lounging at the top of a sunny, green mountain.

On that note, I finished MacKenzie's Mountain by Linda Howard yesterday. I heard from the die-hard romance afficionados over at RomanticTimes.com that Wolf MacKenzie had won for readers' favorite hero. I had to check it out anyway because Wolf is half Celt and half Comanche; a half-breed similar to the hero in my WIP. It was a great story, a quick read, and very well done. I highly recommend it. It also heavily inspired me to keep moving forward with my current novel. If readers loved Wolf, wait until they get a load of my guy..He he....

grand total: 50160

Quote of the Day: Easy reading is damn hard writing. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

long weekend

2008-07-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a long and tiring weekend filled with fireworks, charred burgers, and swimming pool incidents. I'm both sad and happy to see it end. We've got the boyfriend's 12 year old here who always seems to be bored. I can't remember the last time I was bored. It must be nice.

I tried to get past 50000 on my word count, but I fell a couple hundred short. It just wasn't going to happen tonight. I'm betting on tomorrow though, when I've got a fresher outlook and more sleep.

I came across this video the other day and it made me laugh. The guy who programs the pizza band has done at least five other songs too. These mechanical characters usually frightened me as a kid, but now they only frighten me a little.

grand total: 49671

Quote of the Day: Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov

i'm in love

2008-07-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me.....you're saying.....in love? What's new?

So when I fall...I fall hard. Sue me. :::sticks tongue out:::

I just finished Stephenie Meyer's Twilight... :::sigh, batting eyelashes up at some unseen shining star:::

Twilight is what all young adult romance should be; sigh inspiring, sweet, fun, humorous, smart, and well-written.

And Stephenie Meyer goes one step further by revolving the story around a stud-muffin vampire!

I had heard all the hype about this novel and still tried to go into it unbiased. Soooo many people raved about it; but I didn't know any of them from Adam, so I told myself not to expect much. I figured I couldn't lose, since the story had gothic elements and vamp love. I actually worried that since it was a young adult novel, it would be more urban fantasy than romance. Oh boy was I wrong.

I gave it a try and finished this 500 page masterpiece in three days! It's no Harry Potter...my former lover, but it's a different genre in my mind. All romance....

It's the story of Bella Swan, a teenager, who in order to give her mother the chance to be happy with her traveling ball player boyfriend decides to go live with her father in a small town in northern Washington. Bella is instantly the talk of the small close-knit town. She makes a few friends, but is curious about the group of pale, model-esque kids that sit together in the cafeteria.

From there she meets Edward Cullens, the youngest and sexiest of the group, and her life will never be the same.

I don't want to give away any more because I'm mean that way :-) Read it. There are three more novels in the series and I plan to get through them. I wanted to get this one read because the movie comes out in December and honestly, if I see the movie first, I hardly ever get into the book.

Twilight is filled with romance, suspense, vampires, action, emotion, humor, and romance...Oh wait, I already said that. Growing up I had fantasies similar to the premise of Twilight and I think many teen girls did, too. Ok, maybe just the geeky ones. Still, give it a try and tell me what you think!

grand total: 48153

Quote of the Day: The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. ~Vladimir Nabakov

the gothic novel part tres

2008-06-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

Continuing with my quest to find deliciously decadent gothic novels, I came across an author who began writing contemporary romances in the early 80s and transitioned into gothic romances in the late 80s and 90s.

Beverly C. Warren wrote around the same time as Anne Knoll - my last gothic author reviewed. Both of them shared success in a rather obscure genre. Of Beverly's eight gothics, I've read one and own three. My review will be on Lost Ladies of the Windswept Moor, the cover of which is not to your left considering I couldn't find an image.

LLWM is a novel about a very young restorer of old paintings, Janet Clarke. Desperate for employment after the death of her famous painting restorer father, she secures a position at Cheviot Chase (insert Funny Farm reference here), home of Lord John Rathbone. Of course Janet neglected to inform Lord Rathbone of the fact that she was a woman until she arrives, a popular plot device I've seen in gothics before. I guess you had to do what you had to do as a woman back then.

Cheviot Chase (insert Caddy Shack reference here) is dark and dreary with depressed and bitter servants. But wait there's more!... Rathbone's first wife committed suicide and the second, a raving madwoman, went missing after burning down the East Si-eede of the manor. Then we have the usual mouchers living off Rathbone; a gout-ridden peer and his greed-driven ditz of a daughter, who, what do ya know, has her sights set on Rathbone, and a charming, yet devious gentleman with a fancy for Janet.

The drama and action are ripe, while the sex scale reads about a 7, with passionate kisses and long, drawn out tension that makes yours truly scream with frustration. But I thoroughly enjoyed the novel. Janet is smart, strong, and has a knack for disobeying Lord Rathbone's rules - qualities I find endearing at this time in history. The mystery thread had me stumped, always a good thing. I hate guessing the culprit too early on. The plot had a nice flow, with enough twists to keep it exciting.

My only qualms would be the extent of Janet's intelligence at a meager 19 years of age. She could rival women in their 3os today! Also, the dialogue and romantic scenes tended toward cheesy, for lack of a better word, but sometimes the build-up for those scenes overpowers those moments of mush.

As far as Beverly's other novels. I could only find one site - http://www.thepaperbackstash.com/search?q=beverly+c+warren -
that reviewed more than one of her novels in depth. Feel free to check them out at your leisure.
According to the review, LLWM is tame compared to those two. More death, debauchery and darkness, complete with rape and other cruelties fills the remainder. As long as they end happily, I'm game.

I'm eager to read Beverly's seven other novels based on LLWM. She knows what lies at the heart of gothic romance and exploits it with expertise.

The next gothic review will focus on Karen White's, Whispers of Goodbye. Until then...keep those roots dyed black ;-)

grand total: 48021

Quote of the Day: Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

goodbye, my lover

2008-06-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!! Can you hear the chorus sing?!

:::warning, spoilers within:::

It took me a while, ok, one year to be exact, and honestly, I don't know how I avoided hearing what happens throughout the book since my best friend finished wayyyy before me and heck, everyone finished it wayyyyy before me...But I did it! I completed the entire Harry Potter series - ending with the final chapter, this afternoon, 12:25 pm.

And guess what? I'm a wreck.

I have a theory (do I say that often?) that I languished over the final book, spreading it out as long as possible, because I knew it would be painful to see HP come to an end. I sensed this empty feeling would come, filling my soul with a resounding heap of rigid, cold, nothingness.

J.K. Rowling published the first novel in 1997 and I believe I was hooked about a year or two later, making HP part of my life for roughly ten years, like a behind the scenes lover - always there when you need him, ready to provide you with the escape and satisfaction you so desire.

We've been through a lot, HP and I; from envying Hermione for her brains and magical abilities, to the excitement of Harry's first kiss with Cho, to the crush I developed for Severus Snape and his dark and mysterious relationship with Dumbledore, Harry and Draco (most of that crush probably came about from Alan Rickman's portrayal of Snape in the movies, but still...). I cried when Dumbledore died. I cried when Harry came to the realization that he had to die to defeat Voldemort and I cried when Dumbledore cried reliving his misguided youth and the death of his sister. But I cried most of all when Harry won and we knew he would live, because that meant the story had come to a close.

HP took me everywhere I wanted to go, through every emotion and every action and reaction. Toward the end I began looking for holes, or discrepancies in the writing, only to find nothing. Rowling is a master and I applaud her for it. She is an absolutely amazing writer.

So it's the end of an era. I thought it would be similar to how I felt when Friends ended, because I grew up with the show. And I know you can't compare film, TV and books, but they are all just stories, done in different media. But HP took me places Friends could never and I think that has something to do with the written word allowing you to use your own imagination, creating the characters within yourself, so much so, that they become part of you. Like Voldemort being part of Harry. It made his ultimate goal of snuffing out Voldemort akin to killing a part of himself...and who really wants to do that? I mean, would who you are change? How complex? How...brilliant? And in a young adult novel.... I'm blown away.

You would think it would depress me when it comes to my own writing, but I've found that it has made me hopeful. Hopeful that I might write something as wonderful as HP in my lifetime. It may be a different story, but even if I capture an ounce of Rowling's ability to breath such life into my characters, I'd be content.

At least there are three more movies to savor. Again, they aren't books....but anything to satisfy my HP fix.

Goodbye, my lover.....

grand total: 47001

Quote of the Day: Don't be too harsh to these poems until they're typed. I always think typescript lends some sort of certainty: at least, if the things are bad then, they appear to be bad with conviction. ~Dylan Thomas, letter to Vernon Watkins, March 1938

quick note

2008-06-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post some totals today, since yes, I have been writing. No, not blogging. And I apologize. I will continue the gothic reviews tomorrow.

I didn't make my goal of 60,000 words by tomorrow's RWA Chapter meeting, but hey, it was a mighty hefty goal.

I'll live and move forward.

grand total: 44207

Quote of the Day: The wastebasket is a writer's best friend. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

crime scene break

2008-06-15T16:26:00.000-07:00

I promise to resume the gothic reviews soon, but I felt the need to interject a post regarding my novel and some helpful tips.

I recall mentioning my lack of knowledge when it comes to police procedure and crime scene investigation in a previous post. This topic is important in my current wip as well as the next two in the series, especially the last novel, which features the Detective from this story as the hero! I bought Lee Lofland's book from Writer's Digest, Police Procedure and Investigation, and it has helped immensely, but as usual, I'm a stickler for detail and I have questions that are incredibly specific.

I peruse the Romantic Times website message boards (www.romantictimes.com) and thought I'd ask if any of the writers new of anything that might help me with specific law enforcement questions. A lovely lady gave me a nice list of websites and message boards to check out.

Here is the list:

This is the yahoo group everyone always recommends: http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/crimescenewriter/

Also the ask a cop forum
http://forums.realpolice.net/forumdisplay.php?f=112

Lots of good crime/mystery links here: http://inreferencetomurder.com/index.html

Various other crime related links
http://omi.unm.edu/ExternalOrgs.htm
http://www.firearmsid.com/
http://www.theboxotruth.com/index.htm

All of you who are writers that need this kind of technical help, I suggest you use these links.

I joined the Yahoo group CrimeSceneWriter and I must say I was impressed. I asked a question there are had great responses from a retired crime scene analyst and another writer. Also Lee Lofland posts there frequently. I bookmarked and recommend his blog, The Graveyard Shift (www.leelofland.com/wordpress/). He's entertaining and knowledgeable.

I ventured into the Ask a Cop site and read some posts. They weren't very kind to the writer who asked a question about murder investigation procedure, but maybe that's just one dude. They have a ton of people asking everything from how to deal with a restraining order to the three strikes law. Fascinating stuff.

Seriously, these sites are a perfect for the nerd like me, who needs real answers , fast.

It did throw me off a little in my writing because I need to rewrite a scene that wouldn't happen. But I'm going to move forward and take note of it so I don't ruin any momentum.

Anyway, enjoy the sites. Hope they help.

grand total: 41178

Quote of the Day: The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say. ~Mark Twain

the gothic novel part deux

2008-06-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

In my last post I mentioned a few authors I’ve come across that have kept the gothic novel alive and well….

After doing an extensive search under Gothic on Amazon, I was amazed at the mass of books I found. Slowly, I narrowed it down, reading descriptions, reviews and Googling authors.

Anne Knoll caught my attention immediately with her most recent novel, The House in Thornton Wood (2002). And the clincher wasn’t the blurb or reviews, but the cover. (Yes, I have been known to take a chance on a book based on its cover. Is it so wrong?) Something about the look of the woman in the cloak, decaying stone castle behind, dark ominous clouds overhead in a deep red purple made me want to jump right in. And I’m glad I did.

HTW is the story of Olivia St. Claire, daughter of a housekeeper who passes on, and leaves her in the typical fashion of the gothic genre - desperate, alone, and penniless. Of course, this isn’t what a young woman desires in a class-driven, money-hungry, man’s world. Ahh, 19^th century England! Yet, unlike most gothic heroines, Olivia is a strong woman and she has a secret past that even she isn’t aware of. To top it off she has a hideous birthmark on the top of her hand that frightens children and the help. This should keep it interesting.

So Olivia takes a position as a governess for an exhaustingly evil little child at the Thornton house. Here we meet the odd, yet dashing Sir Evan Thornton and his crew. Another unexpected delight came with Sir Evan not being the main love interest! Who knew?? Olivia is more enthralled with the country doctor, Dr. Phillip McAllister, who’s a tad more down to earth and sexually charged than the imposing Sir Evan. There is a nice competition between the two men going and constant turmoil within Olivia. On the sex meter, I’d give it a 6, which is pretty high for an old school gothic. There’s nothing too graphic, but much more than chaste kisses. Way to go, Anne!

There are quite a few twists and turns that make the plot enjoyable. Pair that with complex characters and fascinating subplots featuring gypsies and home remedies and you’ve got a decent story on your hands.

Anne’s second to last novel, The Dark Secrets of the Villa Montelano (1993) seems like it could have been written by someone else. Not that it didn’t make the cut, but it is so radically different than HTW in style, character and format. It’s still a gothic, no doubt about that, but wow, what a difference nine years make.

DSVM tells the story of a poor English shop girl, Charlotte Stone, who finds out her dead father’s estranged and recently deceased mother has left her a grand villa in Maryland. She is told all of this by her so-called grandmother’s lawyer, a handsome man, by the name of Forrest. Forrest and Charlotte fall in love on the boat ride to the U.S. and get married all within the first few chapters. They even do the deed! This was slightly disappointing to me because I felt the romantic tension of the book was dead after that. And it kinda was. I mean, Charlotte and Forrest “get together” every so often when they finally settle in the new villa, but it’s ho-hum. Thus, the rest of the book centers around the mystery of the villa, the ghostly visions Charlotte sees and the cast of colorful inhabitants of the villa. Since Charlotte’s grandmother was a famous Italian opera singer she took in many aspiring singers, instructors and lovers….many of which still live there and for whatever reason Charlotte and Forrest don’t kick them all out. Most of them despise her for getting the villa and she’s convinced something more sinister is going on.

The characters are well done, even if they are minor ones, and I was impressed with how well she did with the sheer amount of them. I wasn’t all that into Forrest, who could be a jerk and rather condescending to Charlotte, who always forgave him. She does mistrust him and question him at times, but is so smitten she’d follow him to hell if it came to it. I’m not sure how I feel about that. We get to find out more about Charlotte’s past and get a lesson in Italian opera, which is nice. I enjoy lessons within fiction. It makes me feel like I’ve gotten something extra.

I have Anne’s other two novels, The Stolen Bride of Glengarra Castle (1990) and The Lost Lady of Hathaway Manor (1992) on my reading list. I’m sure she’ll surprise me again, because I honestly can’t find a similar theme besides a well written gothic. It could be worse…

Join me for my next post when I discuss the gothic works of Beverly C. Warren and Karen White.

grand total: 41178

Quote of the Day: I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. ~James Michener

the gothic novel part I

2008-06-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

For those of you who notice the changes on my blog reading list, you’ll see that I read quite often. I also enjoy a variety of genres, though I do go through phases where I tend to read one particular type of story, author, or theme, fast and furiously.

Lately, I’ve been on a gothic kick. Now, for those of you unfamiliar with the term “gothic” unless it refers to (as my previous post mentioned)…black hair, vampires, and morbid obsessions with death and tragic romance, I’ll enlighten you.

Actually, I’ll let Wikipedia do a little enlightening for you:

Gothic fiction is an important genre of literature that combines elements of both horror and romance. As a genre, it is generally believed to have been invented by the English author Horace Walpole, with his 1764 novel The Castle of Otranto. The effect of Gothic fiction depends on a pleasing sort of terror, an extension of essentially Romantic literary pleasures that were relatively new at the time of Walpole's novel.

Prominent features of Gothic fiction include terror (both psychological and physical), mystery, the supernatural, ghosts, haunted houses and Gothic architecture, castles, darkness, death, decay, doubles, madness, secrets and hereditary curses.

The stock characters of Gothic fiction include tyrants, villains, bandits, maniacs, Byronic heroes, persecuted maidens, femmes fatales, madwomen, magicians, vampires, werewolves, monsters, demons, revenants, ghosts, perambulating skeletons, the Wandering Jew and the Devil himself.

Important ideas concerning and regarding the Gothic include: Anti-Catholicism, especially criticism of Roman Catholic excesses such as the Inquisition (in southern European countries such as Italy and Spain); romanticism of an ancient Medieval past; melodrama; and parody (including self-parody).

There is just something about a good old fashioned spooky gothic that gets me all hyped up. And I’m sure it’s the sense of danger, deceit and the Byronic hero, a.k.a. the tortured, sexually magnetized, mysterious man of the manor. Now, the original gothics weren’t really true “romances” in the commercial definition at all. I mean, they weren't required to have a happy ending and usually the endings were more tragic, like a combination of a bad horror movie and Romeo and Juliet. But as most things do, the gothic romance evolved with the times.

Enter Ann Radcliffe (late 18th century), the supposed creator of the gothic novel in its now-standard form, which I would even say has evolved from that, but I’ll hold off on that theory. She introduced the brooding villain, which turned into the tortured hero. I think one of the reasons I’m so fascinated by gothics is this fine line between the villain and hero, and eventually this line blurred within the hero alone. He must constantly struggle between the good and bad sides, the good usually (hopefully) winning in the end.

Anne Radcliffe’s books were best sellers, unlike previous gothic novels, though much of high society looked down upon the stories as “sensationalist women’s entertainment.” Sounds kinda familiar to what romance is today to some of the more ignorant types, don’t you think?

Anyway, as the Victorian period came about we had Poe, the Bronte sisters (Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre), Stoker (Dracula), Dickens, Stevenson (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde), and Wilde (The Portrait of Dorian Gray). Yes, some of these author’s may not seem to be gothic, but the influence is there more than not.

With the arrival of the 20th century, Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca kept the gothic torch alive and ushered in the “woman in peril” concept that most gothics are associated with today.

In the 1950’s the gothic made a huge comeback in popularity, Victoria Holt leading the pack. Now, Victoria Holt is one of my all time favorite authors. I’d say after the young adult horror/romance novels I began my love of reading with, Victoria Holt was the first gothic author I fell in love with. After reading her first gothic work, Mistress of Mellyn, I cried. Basically for two reasons: 1) The narrator is looking back on her life and telling the story as an old woman. This tactic gives the story a timeless, more grandiose feel, and its makes me feel small and insignificant. Don’t ask me why, it just does. But I do love it, even though I cry :-) 2) Victoria Holt is a master storyteller and I fear that I’ll never be as amazing as she was! HA! She had written over 50 gothics AND more than 100 historical fiction and non-fiction novels. Talk about productive. She’s my hero!

I have a few other authors that do the gothic proud: Anne Knoll, Beverly C. Warren, Eve Silver, Lydia Joyce and Diane Tyrrel. I plan on continuing this post with a short review of what I’ve read of their work so far. So until next time….

grand total: 40015

Quote of the Day: Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very;" your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain

loss of my gothic youth

2008-06-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to make difficult decisions. This weekend I had to make a decision that reminded me just how old I really am.

I used to be borderline Goth about 10-13 years ago. I began my Goth phase nearing the end of high school and had the tendencies off and on until my junior year in college. I never wore the black lipstick or nail polish, but I had the long dark hair, the whiter shade of pale skin, the 18 hole Doc Martins and the vampire obsession. I was also heavily into the Gothic music scene, from hard-core obscurities like Nosferatu and the Virgin Prunes, to more popular stuff like The Cure and Bauhaus. And sheesh, I knew Bram Stoker's Dracula, with Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder, like the back of my hand. I'm still in love with Gary Oldman.

I'm not sure who first introduced me to the band Type O Negative, a goth metal group with blasphemous, vampiric and romantically morbid songs, but I was instantly hooked. Their melodies and lyrics spoke to me at a time when I was "finding myself." Not to mention their lead singer, Peter Steele, is a six foot six sex god with long black hair and a deep penetrating voice that would make any woman quake in her boots. I had the privilege of seeing them twice in concert. Both times in L.A., but years apart. I noticed a few months back that they put out a new CD (mighty amazing since reports said Peter was on the verge of committing suicide a year before).

Well, to make a long story possibly shorter, they are touring and happened to be at the House of Blues here in Las Vegas last Saturday. I didn't go.

Here are the reasons why:

1) I had to work at 7am the next day and put in 10 hours.

2) They were touring with two other bands, whose music I happened to listen to and could not get into.

3) I didn't think my boy friend could handle the Goth scene.

4) Because of 1) I wouldn't have been able to drink profusely, which may have helped with 2) and 3).

5) It might have been too loud.

Reviewing these reasons, I began to feel old. I chose responsibility and reality over youthful pleasure. Because really, the one reason I wanted to go, was to hold onto something from my youth that, like so many other things, is slipping away faster than I had anticipated.

I will always love Type O and their music because it reminds me of a different time in my life. It wasn't necessarily a good or bad time, but it was a time when I could go to a loud, drunken, metal concert and then survive a 10 hour day as the sun rose. You know why? My body could take it. I was young and full of energy. Now I'm reliant on a pillow-top mattress for quality sleep so that I can wake up without an aching back or head and make it through 8 hours of sitting at a computer, so I can come home and relax on the couch before dinner, TV and doing it all over again. I'm depressing myself.

Watch a Type O Clip and you'll make me feel better. Warning, it can be a little hard to take, but this isn't the full video and he had to change a few of the lyrics for the mass video.

grand total: 35219

Quote of the Day: Writing became such a process of discovery that I couldn't wait to get to work in the morning: I wanted to know what I was going to say. ~Sharon O'Brien

tribute to count de monet

2008-05-29T19:33:00.001-07:00

It's a sad day. One of the comic greats, Harvey Korman, passed away today. He was an amazing 81.

This man was a standard in many of my favorite Mel Brooks movies. He had timing, grace and flair and never ceased to make me laugh.

I know he was most famous for his roles in the Carol Burnett Show and in Blazing Saddles as Hedley Lamarr, but I loved him for his role as Count De Monet in History of the World Part I.

I will always remember him and how I grew up admiring comedy just that much more because of him. He will be missed.

Here is a great clip. Enjoy!

grand total: 34199

Quote of the Day: It is necessary to write, if the days are not to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop. ~Vita Sackville-West

back to the daily grind

2008-05-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a long weekend and boy, has it been luxurious. I saw a couple movies, did a little shopping, and ate a few late, and I mean late, breakfasts. Sleeping in is something I look forward to and I cherish the days I can get up whenever I please. So what if breakfast happens to be at one or two? :-)

I was behind on the writing as of Thursday, or maybe Friday, but somehow as the weekend progressed, I got myself back on schedule. It will be a tough week at work with the coming end of month, but I have a day off in the middle to compensate.

At this point in my novel, I realized that a scene I'm writing should be earlier on in the story. I plan on writing it anyway and noting the page where it should be. I really do love this moving forward thing. Before, I would have fret over going back and revising it. Now, I just note it and move on. I wonder why I didn't think I was allowed to do that before. You live, you learn.

Anyway, Happy Memorial Day and welcome back to the daily grind. Now, where's my coffee??

grand total: 31547

Quote of the Day: The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium. ~Norbet Platt

david cook and the pips

2008-05-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't gotten as much writing done as I'd like in the last couple of days due to an overwhelming urge to take naps. But, I feel that when your body is tired you gotta listen. Fighting it will result in one of two things: sickness or sloppiness. I don't want sloppy writing (okay no jokes about my writing after margaritas!) and I don't want sickness, so I indulged in naptime.

Also, I had an idea for another novel, so I grabbed one of my handy dandy notebooks that I have just for such an occasion and madly scribbled (because happy scribbling is just plain weird) everything I could about the idea, like character names, back story, plot, scene snippets, etc. It would be a historical romance set in (when else?), the Regency period with gothic elements, you know, heroine in peril, murder, mayhem, and mega steaminess! I already have another gothic novel in the works, but you can never have too many ideas poised for action.

Well, now I'm ready for my real bedtime. Hopefully, my dreams of meat will cease and desist.

grand total: 27073

Quote of the Day: What I like in a good author is not what he says, but what he whispers. ~Logan Pearsall Smith, "All Trivia," Afterthoughts, 1931

Oh and congrats to David Cook, the new American Idol. Here is the absolute funniest thing from the finale. Watch in its entirety....

sorry PETA..i tried

2008-05-19T21:59:00.000-07:00

On January 1st of this year I made a resolution to eliminate red meat and poultry from my diet. And on May 17th, I caved. I had a Club sandwich and it had turkey and bacon on it. And it was...delicious.

I did great for the first three months. I didn't even have cravings for meat. But then the dreams began..... the ones where I accidentally eat meat at a social event or with my best friend at a reverse racist restaurant. Don't ask. They got pretty weird. In the dreams I would stress out because I was eating meat and end up spitting it out. But I never stressed like that in real life. I guess it was my subconscious reaching out. No wonder my back would hurt when I woke up.

My reasons for the meatless decision was based on my disappointment and disgust with the way we harvest animals, breeding them for slaughter. But it's not the slaughter, per se, that bothers me, it's the life the animals live while awaiting their fate. Forced in cramped, inconceivably small pens; pushed, shoved, kicked and beaten until their bones are broken, these animals are in constant pain. It makes me cry as I sit here writing about it. How can we do this to living things? Well, I know why. Money and convenience. People want meat, and farmers provide it. But not necessarily the farmers we think of, like Old MacDonald. Actually, he may be related to his corporation cousin in some incestuous Kentucky bred way, but I digress. The real farmers are business men who don't look at their livestock as living things, but as product. And that is truly sad. It's also where our humanity begins to crumble.

Money isn't the only reason we treat animals with cruelty. It's because we can. We think our evolved brains give us some sort of right. That's proven by the idiot soldier who threw a puppy over a cliff for fun and videotaped it, or the perv who enjoys "trampling" videos, where women stomp on baby bunnies and chicks to get off. If people want something, someone will provide it for them, no matter how horrible it is or who it might hurt.

OK, now I'm depressed. Moving on. Instead of feeling incredibly guilty for my failure and turning to heavy desserts or large amounts of carbs, I want to say, hey, I made it almost five months! That's gotta count for something. And it's not like I'm going to go on a meat rampage and stuff myself with everything bloody. I just need to have the option of eating meat, so I don't crave it in my dreams. My diet used to consist of roughly 80% meat before this year. Now it will consist of only 5-10% max. I still don't plan on eating veal or pate. And I advise you all to reconsider indulging in those. (Don't make me have to tell you what they do to geese and calves!)

Anyway, I didn't mean to get everyone either upset with me or bummed. If I were Monty Python, I would make a sudden interlude of gratuitous images of penises. But all I have is a bunny.

daily total: 1153
grand total: 26305

Quote of the Day: If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison

shah...push it

2008-05-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

I made it through the road block! I'm not particularly happy with the scenes, but first draft, people...first draft. Whenever I say it, I feel dirty. Dirty in a haven't taken a shower for four days kinda way, not dirty in a getting spanked by David Duchovny kinda way. If that were the case, I'd be saying it until my mouth went dry.

I'm reading Stephen King's book "On Writing" and I believe he says something about giving yourself permission to write crap when it comes to your first draft. Hallelujah! Because I'm pretty darn good at writing crap :-) He has some interesting insights so far and some great tips. I just watched The Mist and I hate him. His endings can be soooo depressing. I want to cry all night. So I took all that emotional energy and I turned to my book. It's still crap. But hey, it's 1472 more crappy words than before.

You heard about my May 17 goal of 20,000 words that I accomplished. Well, I made a new goal and it's even more of a doozy. 40,000 words by June 21. Seeing that it's 35 days away, that's 1150 words a day until then. I kicked butt today, but I'm not going to lie, it was tough. This will be quite the test. And remember didn't I say 120,000 word novel by August?

grand total: 25152

Quote of the Day: I try to leave out the parts that people skip. ~Elmore Leonard

road blocks

2008-05-15T22:52:00.000-07:00

I've come to a scene in my novel where the hero and heroine tour the Quinault Indian Reservation. I've never been to the Reservation and finding photographs and images of it have proved more difficult than I expected.

As with my scene about pool, I want my readers to believe me. I want them to think I've been to the reservation and have done the things my hero and heroine are doing there. This is hard.

I have maps and some physical descriptions of the land in general, but I'm picky. I want details! It's not such a bad M.O. to make up some things, considering very few have been to the Quinault Indian Reservation. But that one reader that says "there's no ravine near the river" would surely drive the bow and arrow deep into my heart.

All of this whining stems from my detachment from writing these last couple of days. I feel out of sorts, which could be period, if we're being totally honest here, or even the distraction of my boy friend having a couple days off from work. But I'll lay the blame on my mind trying to sabotage me. It feels unprepared to move forward, so I stall.

My proposed plan to get out of this is to take some of the research I did today and just write through the scatteredness, throwing in some key words I want and coming back to the reality and detail of the scene at a later time. During revisions.

I'm glad we got this settled.

grand total: 22856

P.S. I haven't forgotten about the review. I plan to do that this weekend.

Quote of the Day: I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all. ~Richard Wright, American Hunger, 1977

no guts no glory

2008-05-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a few things about my body as I've gotten older. My fat isn't evenly dispersed. It settles predominantly in my gut. And before all you people, who say you should be thankful you don't struggle with an all-over weight issue, jump on my un-sympathetic bandwagon, let me speak my piece.

My issue isn't the disproportionate weight, it's my lack of discipline to do anything about it. And trust me, I've tried it all. Diet, exercise programs, etc. I even thought about being a personal trainer, just so I would have to get in killer shape first. Of course that didn't happen. You could say I have so many goals that it's hard for me to focus, or you could say, I'm lazy and/or undisciplined. Whatever the case, it pisses me off that I can't get into the permanent habit to exercise. Our bodies are amazing works of art and all shapes and sizes should be cherished, but I want mine to last as long as possible and that involves a little bit of work.

Instead of having a body that looks like I do nothing, I want one that proves that I do. So I'll keep trying. Writing this novel and keeping up with the word count despite a million obstacles (outer and inner) has shown me that I actually can accomplish things that I set out to do. And health should be my number one priority in the grand scheme of things. I guess the next time I want Birthday Cake Remix from Coldstone Creamery, I'll get a smaller size or run another mile on the treadmill (which I haven't used for months). Gotta start somewhere, right?

daily total: 716
grand total: 21147

Quote of the day: And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

i miss jason castro

2008-05-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like the smell of sushi and beer at 5:30 in the afternoon.

After a lovely dinner at our local west valley sushi hut, our waiter informed my boyfriend and I that we received $20 off our bill for the mere fact that I was a lady. I realized that sometimes it pays to be a woman. Let's hear it for ladies' night! Discounts for not having a penis. I find it kinda funny.

Some more perks:

1) Free drinks from men wanting to get laid.
2) Getting to go to the bathroom with a buddy.
3) Blaming a bad mood on your period.
3) Men doing things for you, to impress you (and then back to the latter half of #1)
4) Being able to cry without getting picked on.
5) Getting sympathy for cramps.
6) Smelling good no matter what.
7) Having make-up available to cover up the un-pretty.
8) Dying our hair or getting highlights without being called "gay".
9) Hidden arousal.
10) Less messy clean-up after the "deed" is done.

Ok, so it got a little crude. I had to dig deep for those last couple. I'm sure there are sooo many reasons why it pays to be a woman, but I managed ten big ones.

Yesterday was a slow day in writing, coming in at but again, I did something, which is the best part of it all. It means, that the story is moving forward, even if by a word or two. Neat, huh?

daily total: 901
grand total: 20159 (my goal has been reached!)

P.S. Anyone else miss Jason Castro? He was voted off American Idol, and although he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, he sure made me smile with his unique voice and easy-going attitude. We'll miss ya, sexy blue eyes.

Quote of the Day: A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket. ~Charles Peguy

the day after cinco de mayo

2008-05-06T22:57:00.000-07:00

I realized I should have had my margarita yesterday. I mean, it was Cinco de Mayo. Instead I had a generic Jack and Coke, my second drink of choice. I go through phases and also stages of brokeness, so I'm lucky to have even generic Jack in the house at the current stage ;-) I made up for the drinks by grilling some shrimp fajitas to pay homage to my Mexican friends.

I didn't have a huge word count Monday, coming in at 732 words, but I hit a streak today and made up for the small slump.

I'm finishing up the big pool / bar scene where we meet the Detective (who is driving me crazy because I'm not an expert on law enforcement) and we get to see a couple different sides to my hero and heroine. In other words, it gets into the nitty gritty.

I've found I like the intense action scenes with multiple characters. I like having the hero and heroine, possibly the villain and the comic relief all together to duke it out...with amazingly orchestrated page turning scenes. The funny part is that I think my best work comes in the introspection. I have a way with thoughts. HA! That makes me laugh for some reason.

Anyway, I haven't changed my playlist yet or finished the book I'm reading. I plan on it this week. And it looks like I'm a little under 800 words to my goal to make 20,000 words by May 17. Nice and way ahead of schedule!

daily total: 1120
grant total: 19214

Quote of the Day: Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow

sunday is my fun day

2008-05-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

Actually, Saturday is my fun day. But Sunday ain't nothing to sneeze at....Especially when you get some serious writing done. I'm still working on the pool playin' scene and it's just coming to the mucho exciting part. I live for those mucho exciting parts.

I'm also finishing up one of the books I'm currently reading and I'll post a review either tomorrow or Tuesday. And I'll be changing my playlist.

You have something you want me to talk about? Spill it. Leave me a comment and I'll wrap it into one of next week's posts.

Catch yas later!

daily total: 1341
grand total: 17362

Quote of the Day: The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say. ~Anaïs Nin

my novel

2008-05-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

I remember mentioning that I was going to tell y'all at least a little about my novel.

I do have a tentative title, but I'm gonna keep that part secret. Let's call it COT for now.

COT is a romantic suspense with Native American and paranormal influence. It takes place in southwestern Washington and involves a naive archivist, always mistaken for a librarian, who gets her dream job at a progressive library. From her very first day she gets the feeling she's being watched and after eerie emails, strange phone calls and even getting attacked she knows someone or something is out to get her. And there's her co-worker, a steaming hot Quinault man with a tragic past. She vowed that her new job would get her undivided attention, but continuing to fight her heart against having feelings for this man and trying to stay alive is proving nearly impossible.

I've already said too much, but hey, I like you people :-)

daily total: 1091
grand total: 16021

Quote of the day: So often is the virgin sheet of paper more real than what one has to say, and so often one regrets having marred it. ~Harold Acton, Memoirs of an Aesthete, 1948

margarita woes

2008-05-02T22:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I worked for 11 hours at my day job. End of month is tough in the accounting industry and I was beat. I actually wrote 99 words just to say I did something related to my novel.

When I got home all I wanted was a margarita and sleep. And I got both.

Today wasn't an 11 hour day, but it's funny how one long day can throw you off for a couple thereafter.

I had a margarita again tonight, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from writing. Who knows, it might be my best stuff! HA!

Anyway...I'm afraid if I continue blogging right now it might get weepy or angry or some other dwarvish emotion. So it's a short one today.

todays total: 1304
grand total: 14930

Quote of the day: There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein. ~Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith

right and left english

2008-04-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

I'm coming to a scene in my novel where the hero teaches the heroine how to shoot pool.

The problem: I know almost nothing about pool. But I do like pool and have always wanted to learn more about it.

The answer: Write a scene about pool. It's the one sure way I'll make sure to get it right.

And so we must research.

I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to this stuff because I actually enjoy research. I have tons of books on my resource shelf with topics ranging from palmistry to castle construction. Why? I want to include these subjects in my novels and I don't want to sound like an idiot. In fact, I'd rather sound like an expert. Even if it is on Viking grooming tools of the 11th century.(Yes! They DID groom themselves, despite popular belief!)

So back to pool. The internet is a magnificent mecca for research. I found a couple detailed websites on pool, a billiards glossary of terms, and even a tutorial on YouTube of how to play. I'm stoked with the amount of information I have and how easy it was to find. It took me about half an hour to find, save and sort through the important bits. I'd say I rock, but I think the internet gets props on this one. Now, I'll be much more confident in writing the scene and my readers will believe my hero is an awesome shot. Who could ask for anything more?

Daily Total: 1018
Grand Total: 13626

a long day

2008-04-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

I'm proud of myself. I almost came home from a particularly long day at work (where I wasn't even able to think about my novel, let alone write a few lines down) and gave up. Giving up entails vegetating in front of the computer and/or TV and doing nothing, except breathing...and quite shallow breaths at that.

Now don't get me wrong, every once in a while, a day of going comatose can be fun and necessary, however, I had begun to let those days outnumber all others.

But not today.

Today I sat down and set my nifty little timer and told myself 10 minutes. I'll write for 10 minutes and I will call it quits. Because something is better than nothing. Well, I kinda know how I work and if I sit down and do my 10 minutes, those 10 minutes turn into another 10 minutes, and another...until as I mentioned in previous posts, I realize I've been writing for about an hour or more. And that happened today....

I spat out a respectable 903 words today for a grand total of 12608. I love seeing the numbers pile up.

I also decided that my goal is 120,000 words. I'm writing a stand-alone romance and one where I'd like to have some well-developed characters, intricate plot and subplot lines and a set up for two other novels in a trilogy if the mood strikes me. So I gotta have the words to make all this happen and happen well.

I'm confident.

I'll talk a little about my current project in my next post. For now, I need my beauty sleep.

it's geek to me

2008-04-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying that I broke the 10000 mark, and am now at 11705 words!

Did you congratulate me? Yay! Thanks!

Anyway, moving on to the topic at hand. Let's talk about geeks. Well, handsome geeks, or geeks we all love. As I was thinking about who to include in this tribute, I found myself choosing guys that were not just geeks, but actually quite funny as well. It made me wonder if it's geeky to be funny? There is probably something to that, since personally, I equate humor with intelligence and wit. I also noticed that the men I chose have taken on a undercurrent of "cool," despite their geekiness. Maybe it's just me. Decide accordingly.

Here are my choices:

Matthew Perry has been a favorite of mine ever since Friends. As the character Chandler Bing (in every TV or movie role he's been in) he's cute, sexy, funny, and pretty geeky. Even the few extra pounds he put on when battling his drug addiction didn't take away from him stealing the show. Now I ask you, Could he BE any hotter??

My next geek, may be a little older, but definitely wiser. His charm is more subtle when it comes to his humor and yet he is still delicious as a hunk and scientist. William Peterson as Gil Grissom on CSI, made me want to watch crime drama for more than just the gorey death scenes. Humana Humana!

And if you don't watch this next geek on the Office, you're missing out! Not only one of the funniest shows ever, it has a great love story between Pam and Jim. John Krasinski as Jim Halpert, is the one of the best geeks of the year. With his lanky gait, kind eyes, and wicked sense of humor, he's one geek I'd love to meet at my office.

There is just something about the "geek" that is so intriguing and attractive as a hero. I think it's because they are the closest archetype we have to the real thing. Most of these guys you can imagine working at your office, analyzing your blood at a lab, or grocery shopping at your local market. And knowing they are out there makes us all the more excited to fall in love with them.
So get out your spectacles and calculators for these guys will surely sniff out your smarts.

nearing 10,000

2008-04-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

If anyone told me I would have been a couple hundred words away from 10,000 on my novel in just a few short days, I would have punched them in the mouth. Isn't that a line from a Pink song? I wouldn't punch anyone, but I might've pushed them in the chest really hard saying "Get OUT!" a la Elaine on Seinfeld.

But it's true, I'm at 9786 words. Today, I wrote 1149 words. And as I look through my outline, I'm hardly into Act II! All this means is that I'm going to have a lot of "extra" stuff to revise. Which only makes me happier. I'd rather have too much than too little any day.

So I hope you liked my little tribute to British men that I posted yesterday. Tomorrow, I plan to do a tribute to the geek, one of my favorite heroic archetypes.

Ciao for now!

my brit obsession

2008-04-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

I should have been born in England. I know this because I love anything even remotely reeking of Brit-land. Decaying castles, pints, James Blunt, Rimmel eyeliner..... the list goes on and on. And I don't think I could live without English comedy, the perfect blend of wit and silliness. Monty Python, the Office, Absolutely Fabulous, Fawlty Towers, Are You Being Served?, or in a pinch...Austin Powers; they all make me wish I wasn't just a wannabe wanker. And speaking of wankers....

I thought I'd pay tribute to some of the fine English men that have inspired a bit of my writing and a couple fantasies, too. :-P

Pride and Prejudice is one of my favorite classic novels, but it was Colin Firth that made Mr. Darcy that much more memorable AND delectable! Bridget Jones is one lucky chippy....

Who could forget the sneaky Professor Snape from Harry Potter, Colonel Christopher Brandon of Sense and Sensibility, or Metatron from Dogma? I sure can't. Alan Rickman's voice can creep down your spine electrifying each and every nerve-ending until you're transformed into a puddle of liquid goo.

And of course, the masterful, Clive Owen. This photo doesn't show it, but he's not the typical classically handsome hero. That said, he easily fits the heroic prototype with his raw masculinity. Gotta love the man's eyes of steel!

Anyway, if these guys don't make you want to take a tour of the British Isles, then go back to Canada, aye.

Oh and "Long live the Queen!"

Disclaimer: Use of British slang may not reflect accurate British usage.

more steps

2008-04-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

Another step has been stepped...upon...or whatever.

1218 words today! I told ya I'd get better with time.

True, it was a slow day at work so I got about 400 words done there, but even with a nap and dinner under my belt, I still managed to crank out 800 more words at home.

The grand total so far: 7834 words. I am officially kicking butt.

Did I mention the word progress meter? I plan on purchasing it from Holly's site tomorrow. It will give this lovely blog it's first piece of added html! And it will prevent me from spouting boring numbers for content.

Speaking of content. I need some pictures, or videos. Note to self: Find some cool shite for my blog tomorrow.

another fine feat

2008-04-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

I did it again. I wrote! Woohoo!

835 more words.

I need a drink, or some ice cream to celebrate.

I continued on with Holly's Ten Minute Magic....and I think....yes, I think....that it is indeed magic. If it can psych me out enough to put words on paper (or screen) then it must be magic.

Oh Oh it's maaagic...You knoowooohhoohhh....

Anywho, I'm coming along nicely. Like a scrumptuous glazed ham.

To pork and beyond!

OK, enough of this silliness. I'm out.

i'm back

2008-04-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

I have a habit of doing this. Creating a blog and then letting it go until I forgot where the blog was, what it was about and how to retrieve it.

Not this time. I wrote it down. On something permanent. Yep. I'm learning.

I had to post today, because I'm moving forward and I feel good about it. And well, I read that one of my gurus, Holly Lisle, says that creating a blog formalizes your goals and makes you more responsible for getting the things you want done. I'm hoping she's right.

I've got goals, but nothing specific as of yet. That will come as I see how this new system I'm implementing works. Today, it worked. And quite well, may I add.

Holly practices Ten Minute Magic. Which means she does almost everything in ten minute increments. What this does is break down big things into manageable and focused periods of time to move yourself forward on a project, or anything you'd like to complete.

Today I wanted to try this out. I had laundry to do, scheduling to input and writing to complete. So I set my nifty little computer timer to ten minutes and did the laundry until the timer went off, which was plenty of time actually to get the load folded and the next batch loaded into the washer. I set it again and did my scheduling. The timer went off and I was done with that. Then I gathered all my story notes, read through them and set up my computer to begin where I was next in the story. I set the timer. In ten minutes I had two paragraphs. Ok so it doesn't sound like a lot of words, but it's two paragraphs more than I had written in a month. Put that in your perspective and smoke it! I ended up setting the timer roughly 10 more times and got a couple loads of laundry finished and guess what?? 876 words written! If I can do this daily, I can get 22,776 words written by May 17, which is the next Cactus Rose meeting (my local chapter of the Romance Writers of America). I put a dollar into their goal journal, saying I would get 20,000 words written on my manuscript by the next meeting. More importantly this is another couple of steps to getting my novel finished. Hooray!

What I'm hoping will happen is that I'll get faster in my ten minutes and more prolific, getting more quantity as well as quality done. I won't get my hopes up. But I am a dreamer.

Anyway, I had to tell someone. And you're it.

Also, if you had a moment, check out Holly's site. She's got lots of cool things there in regards to writing...free plotting courses, helpful writing tips, great character, plotting, world building, etc. courses for a fantastic price and a newsletter that comes out every week detailing what she's working on and a section where she answers questions from people like me. I like her because she's a real person, making a decent living as a writer. www.hollylisle.com

Until next time...

all about me

2008-04-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

It's time.

Yes, it's time to do this.

Blog.

As an aspiring writer blogging is inevitable and some may say, a necessary evil. Maybe that's too harsh, but for me, I think it's now a must.

I write romance and hope to have my first novel completed by August. That means I need to put myself out there; shmooze, if you will, via the internet highway. Every writer I know seems to have a blog and for good reason. They have books they need to publicize. Heck, they need to publicize themselves.

Which is why I'm here embarking on the adventure of a lifetime. The pursuit of a dream. To become a writer.

At 30, I've decided I can't hold out any longer. I pushed this whole writing business into the back of my mind, where it sat, sometimes impatiently, until one day last year it reared up and forced me to look at my life. And then I got depressed.

Don't get me wrong, I've done some....stuff, been some places, made some friends. But I wasn't aiming towards anything in particular. I have no career, just a series of unrelated and unsatisfying jobs. I have no home, just a place that I stay because I haven't the means to go anywhere else. And I have no purpose, other than to keep hope alive that one day I will. Pretty sad, huh? Yeah, I thought so.

So, I did some serious soul-searching and this time listened to this writing thing. I realized I had enjoyed and excelled at writing since I was able to read. And read I did for the majority of the time I spent alone as a child. I could lose myself in books, escaping from reality, or sometimes, improving upon it. I even wrote a romance in 7th grade. I still have it, though I pity the person who comes upon it when I'm dead and gone. It really is bad. But hey, it's complete. From then on, I've written poems, essays, synopsi, character charts and outlines of stories that burst forth from my brain and dare I say, heart. But these have never gone the way of my first attempt - actual completion.

I'm getting closer though. And determination and motivation is slowly chipping away at all the crap - insecurities, procrastination, etc. - that prevents me from being more productive than naught. So, I'm optimistic. I think romance writers kinda have to be, since our livelihood depends on a happy ending.

Thus, my adventure begins and this blog is here to see it come to fruition. It could also help with the next mega obstacle called publication.....the after effects of promotion.

It's time.

Welcome to the adventure....I mean, my Blog.